Life is meant to be lived and celebrated. That is why I create this site, a work-in-progress, like most of us. I start by honoring a few unique lives with part of their published obituaries and adding words to try to share a few of my most treasured memories of how they shaped me.
I’ve longed to write more for decades, but had too little time and too many ideas until I isolated myself to survive Covid-19 on February 28, 2019. Most mornings I listened to NPR so the minute I heard the idiot President flatly proclaim that it was not going to be “a problem” I knew catastrophe was coming for all humanity. I’d learned enough from a single professor during a single lecture on the history of earthly epidemics at the University of Utah to know this vile virus required immediate action. Two hours after hearing yet another huge Trump lie I had packed my car with essentials and my little dog Lulu and drove as fast as I safely could to Salt Lake City. As I drove by Bothel Washington the car radio informed me Bothel High School was closed until further notice due to students diagnosed with Covid-19. I knew the relatively good times were over for me and most of humanity. Fast forward to July 2021 and no one knows if this vile virus and it’s mutations will ever stop killing people. In July 2021 and in the US, most of its victims are ones who could have helped themselves and future generations but chose not to. I feel sad for the truly innocent ones. More will suffer and die, obviously. My siblings scrambled to adapt. All survived so far. About half of “plague time” so far we also cared for mom as she slowly died. She told me several times that she was eager to go.
Most of my close friends eagerly got the miracle vaccine as soon as they possibly could during the spring 2021. Very close friends held a birthday party for my 70th in April. It was our first time indoors with no masks, enjoying each other somewhat like pre-pandemic times and also profoundly different. It was a uniquely heartfelt and joyous celebration of all our lives. We felt changed, individually and collectively. I felt more grateful for each moment with them than ever, and lucky the my birthday marked the time we had all developed immunity so we could talk and laugh while seeing every expression on every happy face. An unforgettable and glorious time.
Personal reflection time often feels glorious one moment and painful minutes later. I expected such paradoxical loop-de-loop times and believe paying attention will help me grow.
Shame on every human who made this hell worse and grateful celebration for each self-sacrificing helper. I’ve now attended more funerals on Zoom than in person in my lifetime. I did not know most of them well. When mom died I was not certain I’d feel safe walking into her church until I saw the excellent safety measures they took for myself. After that I searched and found friends I’d lost touch with were dead (see below). Then a young first cousin died 2 weeks after his cancer diagnosis. I can’t express how much I miss them very well, but will try. Of course my thoughts may evolve so the writing here will too. Stay tuned if you like.
“What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.” -C. S. Lewis
The Little Book of Cheerful Thoughts - Jeffrey Harrison
My favorite Ted Talk: What Frogs in Hot Water Can Teach Us About Thinking Again - Adam Grant
This American Life - Good Grief!
Remembering Frances Hesselbein
Goofy and fast little Lulu taught me her own versions of tag and hide and seek in the house,
which was special fun in
our
first Covid-19 winter.
We were loyal friends from 2011-2021 and she will always own a place in my heart.
Friends I Missed Most During Pandemic
Susan Roche
Loving Arms: Bite-Size PoetryRoxey Faye Rosenbaum Bradford
Roxey Faye Rosenbaum Bradford, our sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and friend passed away peacefully at her home on November 7th, 2020. She was loved by many.
She was born on March 4, 1928 in Delta, Utah to Benjamin Rosenbaum and Mary Alice Manning Rosenbaum. During Faye's younger years she lived in Delta, Utah, then in Spanish Fork, Utah. She graduated from Spanish Fork High School in 1946. She attended Brigham Young University, and then married Howard Bradford in the Salt Lake LDS Temple on July 10, 1950. They were married 50 years before he passed away in 2000.
She was an active member of the local community and a voter registration volunteer for many years. A lifelong member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she served in many ways. She taught piano to her own children and others. She enjoyed working as an assistant librarian at Wasatch Junior High.
She loved quilting and needlepoint. Her family will always cherish the many beautiful and award-winning quilts she gave her children and grandchildren. She was an avid reader and a wonderful example of selfless devotion and kindness. She was gentle, soft spoken and had an infectious laugh. She will be missed by many.
Mom was my Rock of Gibraltar. She loved her family, most children, stories, words, wit, quilting, music, Wasatch canyon nature and too many other forms of beauty to name. She was steadfast, smart, strong, courageous, creative, loyal, kind, generous and compassionate. These are the main things I’ll always love and respect about her and aspire to be. In all these ways she and her mother were much alike. It was definitely that grandma who made me feel the most pure form of love I’ve ever known.
Marcia Ann Kepler-Bilbao
Marcia Ann Kepler-Bilbao, M.D., passed away on January 1, 2021, two weeks before her 90th birthday.
She graduated first in her class of very few women in 1957 from Columbia University’s School for Physicians and Surgeons in New York City.
She was a Radiologist at Oregon Health & Science University. (I met her when she was the Chief of Radiology at the Salt Lake City VA Medical Center and I was their first Director of Data Processing).
Marcia earned 14 national and international awards for authorship or co-authorship of 53 publications and international conferences. She created the Needle-Breast Biopsy procedure and co-invented the Bilbao-Dotter Catheter, which corrects narrowing of arteries.
Marcia climbed 50 peaks with one first ascent before 1973. At age 62 she and her dog backpacked 500 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail in Oregon.
Marcia inspired me to be more creative and courageous. Marcia asked me to call her by her nickname “Kep”, so I have for decades. From her I learned more about meditation, yoga, actively searching for even tiny brave and joyful small moments each day, belly dancing, and quiet nature walks as therapy. We talked and walked together every chance we could for nearly 3 facades. We solved problems together, which raised my emotional IQ. She had one of the most purely musical belly laughs I’ve ever known, and I miss her deeply.
Margo Gardner
July 7, 1938 – March 12, 2021
Margaret Blackwell Gubser Gardner passed away peacefully in her home on Mountain View Drive after a long illness. The eldest daughter of the late George and Ethel Blackwell, she was born in Bethesda, MD. Her family later moved to Groton, MA, Lake Forest, IL, and eventually to the Boston area in 1953.
Margo is survived by her beloved husband, Keith Gardner, her son Charles Gubser and his wife Rosa Zerella of Basel, Switzerland, and her daughter-in-law Laura Landweber of Princeton, New Jersey, widow of Margo’s younger son Steven Gubser, who died tragically in a mountain climbing accident in 2019. She is also survived by her five grandchildren, Charles’ son Aldo Claude and his daughter Clara as well as Steve’s daughters Cecily, Heidi and Lillian. Her two sisters, Scilla Blackwell Hastings of Middletown, CA, and Carey Blackwell Bloomfield, of Cambridge, MA. survive Margo as well.
Margo graduated magna cum laude from Radcliffe College (now fully-merged with Harvard University) in 1960 with a degree in French literature. She spent a year in Paris, teaching English at a French lycée. She taught French at Milton Academy and traveled extensively. She married Nick Gubser (d. 2018) and lived in Tulsa, OK, before moving to Aspen in the early 1970s. Her marriage to Nick ended in divorce. She taught French at Aspen Country Day before embarking on her real estate career in the 1980s.
Margo loved all that Aspen had to offer. She loved to ski with her family and friends and enjoyed all the hiking trails she could find, A classically-trained pianist like her mother, Margo attended countless concerts at the music tent, having a deep, lifelong love of music. Margo volunteered for years at the Aspen Music Festival and School.
I knew Margo as a neighbor, hiking buddy, house sitter, and fan of the summer music festival in Aspen. I admired her humility, curiosity, and devotion to her two sons. She asked if her son Steve and his wife Laura could stay with us. Their humility about career achievements still delights and inspires me. Both loved swing dancing, and they lit up when they told me that is how they first met.
Steven Gubser
Steven Gubser, a Princeton theoretical physicist who did groundbreaking work in trying to unite the two great fields of physics — quantum mechanics and general relativity — as part of a broad effort in the scientific community to devise “a theory of everything,” died on Aug. 3 in a rock-climbing accident in the French Alps. He was 47.
Dr. Gubser was one of the most accomplished physicists of his generation, making an impact early on. While still a teenager he became the first American to win an international physics competition for high school students. As a student at Princeton he won the highest American award for undergraduate research. And as a young scientist he was cited in Europe as one of the most outstanding theoretical physicists under the age of 35.
Dr. Gubser’s specialty was string theory, which many physicists believe could solve a fundamental problem in physics: the disconnect between quantum physics and general relativity, the theory put forward by Einstein. In recent years, Dr. Gubser used string theory to improve the theoretical understanding of black holes — those gravitational monsters that trap all energy, even light — and superconductors, the materials through which electrons can pass without resistance.
Outside the classroom, his students might see him pedal by on a unicycle, something he had taught himself to ride.
Steven’s aptitude for the sciences was evident early on. In 1989, he became the first American to record the top score in the Physics Olympiad, an annual international competition for high school students, and a year later he won a silver medal at the Chemistry Olympiad, another international competition.
He graduated from Princeton in 1994. His thesis earned the LeRoy Apker Award, the highest honor by the American Physical Society for undergraduate research. He spent a year at Cambridge University in England as a Fulbright scholar, completing a master’s degree there, and then returned to Princeton for further graduate studies, earning his Ph.D. in 1998.
Steve and his wife Laura Landwebber earned many impressive awards. I really got to know them when they arrived to stay at our home near Aspen during a Physics Institute conference. Steve was presenting. Laura was pregnant with their first child. We enjoyed "Big Chill" hours cooking and eating meals together while listening to music. They treated each other with tender respect. Soon after I realized that is what went AWOL in my marriage, and I was determined to restore it.
Steve and Laura were our house guests during their first pregnancy in summer 2007. I’ll never forget his loving sensitivity to Laura‘s every need.
Dr. Gubser and his wife, Laura Landweber, in 2008, when they received the New York Academy of Science Blavatnik Awards for Young Scientists, he in physics and she in biology. With them was their youngest daughter, Lillian.
Dr. Gubser and his wife, Laura Landweber, in 2008, when they received the New York Academy of Science Blavatnik Awards for Young Scientists, he in physics and she in biology. With them was their youngest daughter, Lillian.
Nick Gubser
February 9, 2018
Nicholas Gubser passed away in Aspen on February 9. He had leukemia. He is survived by his sons, Charles and Steve, by his former wife Margo, and by his grandchildren: Cecily, Aldo, Heidi, Clara, and Lillian. A Yale graduate, Nicholas studied anthropology at Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, then volunteered for the army and served a tour in Vietnam before moving to Aspen in the early 1970s. Nicholas was a noted mountaineer. He climbed Cho Oyu, Ama Dablam, and a number of other Himalayan peaks, as well as Mount McKinley and Aconcagua. His climbing in the United States included the north face of the Grand Teton, the Ames Ice Hose, and many routes on peaks in the Elk Range.
Don Lee Rosenbaum
February 12, 1958 – April 8, 2021
Our beloved husband, father, and grandfather Don Lee Rosenbaum passed away peacefully at his home on April 8, 2021 after a short battle with an aggressive cancer. He was born in Spanish Fork, Utah on February 12, 1958 to Neal W. and Nita Halversen Rosenbaum. His childhood was filled with love, laughter, and music. Don loved his siblings and often referred to them as his best friends.
Don married his best friend, Suanne Gasser, in the Provo Temple on September 13, 1979. Their marriage was filled with endless laughter, service, work, and fun. He loved his wife dearly, he always wanted to be wherever she was. They have four children: Angela, Alyse, Ashlee, and Andrew.
He graduated from Spanish Fork High School and was a true "Don". He earned a bachelor's degree from Brigham Young University, and always rooted for "the good guys". He went on to earn a master's degree in social work from the University of Utah. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at Utah State Hospital, he was a strong advocate for the mentally ill and helped to bring awareness and progress in that field.
Don loved his Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with all of his heart. He Cherished and honored his membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He faithfully served in the Scotland and Northern Ireland Mission. He loved every calling he ever had, from teaching in the primary to serving in the stake presidency. His desire was to serve the Lord. Don loved bearing his testimony and did so until his dying day.
I admired Don as a young man for his light and caring sense of humor. He acted wise beyond his years and was the first “deep listener” I admired and tried to emulate. He had an unusually gentle and generous heart. We lost touch as teens and reconnected only in his last few weeks. He called me soon after his horrific cancer diagnosis. He and his wife, a nurse, asked smart questions about what to expect of treatments, my guess about the value of a second opinion, his diet and so on over several phone chats. I did a bit of research and felt he had an oncology dream team. Then his body crashed. I was shocked when his wonderful wife urged me to come the next day to say goodbye, and will always treasure that hour. He could barely speak but said volumes with his bright eyes and hands. He listened attentively until pain hit and his wife gave him more medication without a word. He died the next day. It hit me hard. Now I think too many Covid losses left me too emotionally raw to process this shock. I recall telling others that going numb can be the most adaptive human response at times, and I know it more deeply now.
Juliane M. Heyman
March 25, 1925 - April 6, 2002
Juliane M. Heyman, age 97, of Santa Barbara, California passed away on Wednesday, April 6, 2022. Juliane was born March 25, 1925 in Danzig.
She preferred to be called Julie. We met in a swimming pool in Aspen, CO in the 1990s and something clicked between us. Then we went XC skiing together and she shared more of her history, much of it now written in her autobiography "From Rucksack to Backpack: A young woman's journey into a Newly Evolving World."
She invited me into her octagonally-roofed home on the east part of town for meals and tea several times. She had a brightness in her dark brown eyes and endless curiosity that attracted me. She wanted to know all about my lfe and share her stories. We often talked before and after summer concerts and she insisted I meet the music students she hosted, 2 sisters from India.
Eventually I (and her friend Nick) helped her organize her thousands of photos. She wanted me to focus on the ones she took in the 1950's in Nepal, where she had trained volunteers for the Peace Corps. When I finished she smiled big and said, "When I pass these are my gift to you. You have been there and care about the Nepalese people. You understand a bit of their history and culture. Share these with others whenever you can...please." I was stunned but had no choice but to agree and thank her. She urged me to visit her in Santa Barbara many times so I stayed with her for 3 days. We swam together in that pool and that was the last time I saw her. I talked by phone until her hearing failed and it was too hard, then emailed until she stopped sending replies. Covid hit and we lost touch. I began to think of her often and googled her only to learn she had died a couple of weeks before.
Keith Gardner
July 14, 1936 – March 25, 2022
Keith Gardner passed away peacefully on March 25 at his home in Aspen after a long illness. Born in Birmingham, England, Keith moved to the United States as a young man, eventually making his way to Aspen.
Keith was trained as a civil engineer in England, then earned a Master’s degree in English literature. Shakespeare was his passion. Keith could and would quote lengthy passages of The Bard’s works from memory. Sharing that enthusiasm in his Aspen Country Day English classes was a highlight of his life.
A very active member of Christ Episcopal Church of Aspen, Keith couldn’t believe his good fortune when he met Margo Gubser one Easter Sunday. They married in 2004. Margo and. Keith were frequent lay readers. Together, they hosted countless First Sunday brunches. To many house-bound members of the community, Keith’s was a familiar face as he faithfully delivered Meals on Wheels.
Keith loved all that Aspen had to offer. He was an expert skier and enjoyed taking long hikes in the mountains with Margo. They attended concerts at the Aspen Music Festival and hosted Aspen Music School students at their home over several summers.
He is survived by his step-son, Charles Gubser of Basel, Switzerland, his step-daughter-in-law Laura Landweber of Princeton, NJ, and his sisters-in-law, Scilla Hastings of Middletown, CA and Carey Bloomfield of Cambridge, MA. His beloved wife, Margo Gubser Gardner, passed away March 12, 2021.
Burial will be private. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Christ Episcopal Church of Aspen.
Noel de Nevers
1932 - 2019
Noel de Nevers died on January 4th, 2019 at the age of 86.
Born on May 21, 1932 in San Francisco to Czeslaw de Nevers and Florence Gorman de Nevers, he graduated from St. Ignatius High School in 1950, Stanford University in 1954 (B.S.), and the University of Michigan in 1958 (Ph.D.) both in Chemical Engineering. From there he worked with Chevron Research, and then came to the University of Utah in 1963, continuing on the faculty of the Department of Chemical Engineering until 2002. Noel was a Fulbright student in Karlsruhe, Germany in 1954-55, and a Fulbright Scholar lecturing in Colombia, Uruguay, and Argentina.
Noel met Klancy Clark at Stanford and had the good luck to marry her. Their 63 year-long adventure included three children (Clark, Nanette, and Renée) and seven grandchildren along the way.
Noel's academic gift was textbook writing. Three of his chemical engineering textbooks are in print. A year as a visiting engineer at the Air Pollution Technical Office of the Environmental Protection Agency in 1972 launched his career in Air Pollution Control Engineering, which resulted in a textbook, technical articles, and twelve years on Utah's Air Pollution Control Board. Noel enjoyed the shortest tenure on record as chair, terminated when he offended legislators by advising them not to pass an environmental bill he considered foolish.
Noel also published a nonfiction work, "The Kolob Tragedy: The Lost Tale of a Canyoneering Calamity." He has three "de Nevers's laws" in a Murphy's law compilation (of which the best is de Nevers's complexity law, "The only simple subjects are the ones you don't know much about"). He won the title Poet Laureate of Jell-O Salad at the 1983 Last Annual Jell-O Salad Festival in Salt Lake City with three limericks and a quatrain.
He loved outdoor recreation and visited Utah's National parks and other wild areas often. On one such trip he and his companions discovered Private Arch in Arches National Park. He was almost certainly not the first person to see the arch, but he was the first to report it officially to the rangers and the U.S. Geologic Survey. If permitted, he would have named the arch for the Wasatch Mountain Club, as his discovery occurred on a Club outing. He climbed non-technical mountains, standing on top of the Grand Teton, Mt. Rainier, Mt. Whitney, Kilimanjaro, and Kala Patar, and rafted most of the famous rivers in the intermountain west. His environmental activism caused the Dean of the University of Utah Business School to call him "a short-pants posy plucker," which title he accepted with pride. He played tennis with more enthusiasm than natural talent, and lived long enough to ski for free at Alta.
Noel loved to travel and was gratified to have a wife who would accompany him to Asia, Africa, Europe, Australia and South America.
He was a political junkie, and served as his voting district's delegate to Democratic Party conventions for a few years. His letters to the editor of the Salt Lake tribune had a small but devoted following; he tried to help the readers smile at the follies of our elected leaders.
Noel considered limericks the highest form of poetry, and could recite all the classics. Of his own compositions, probably the best is "Noel's advice is quite right, drink enough to keep your pee white. But drink before noon, it will come out quite soon, and you'll not leave your tent in the night!"
Noel was always his mother's devoted and frugal son. He is survived by his wife, children, and grandchildren. A celebration of his life will be held later in the year. If you wish, send a contribution in his name to Planned Parenthood or the Union of Concerned Scientists.
Norman Ray Chambers Jr.
1972 - 2022
Norman Ray Chambers Jr. passed away at home surrounded by his family on Sunday, Oct. 30, 2022 in Seattle, WA at age 50. He is survived by his wife Kayoko Shibue, his parents Norman and Gisela Chambers of Sandy, UT, his sister Tina (Wayne) Bradford, and his nephew and niece, Benjamin and Kate Bradford, all of Salt Lake City, UT, his aunts, uncles and cousins in the U.S. and Germany; Kayo's parents Tadamichi and Masako Shibue, her brother Yoshiaki Shibue, all of Tokyo, Japan, and her sister Chieko Shibue of Niigata, Japan. Norm and Kayo's beloved dog Jun never left his bedside.
Norm was born on June 28, 1972, in Redondo Beach, CA. He spent his early years in the South Bay area of Los Angeles and in Foster City, a suburb of San Francisco, before moving to Utah with his family in 1985. Norm always enjoyed the many family trips to visit his mother's hometown in Lahr, Germany (Black Forest). He graduated from Alta High School in 1990 and studied art at the University of Utah and Salt Lake Community College.
He met his life partner, Kayoko, in the late 1990's in Salt Lake City. They moved to Seattle in 2003 and were married in May 2021. Norm received his Associate of Arts Degree in Computer Aided Design from North Seattle College in 2009. He worked for Bastyr University for more than 18 years and was facility manager for the Bastyr Center for Natural Health in Seattle.
Norm's passion was music and art. He loved drawing in his early years and recently started drawing again. He started playing guitar in the early 90's before discovering and falling in love with synthesizers. Between 2009 and 2022, he released dozens of albums under various solo and collaborative aliases, including Panabrite, Jurgen Muller and his given name. His music, broadly categorized as ambient, is beloved for its lush, cinematic, tonally rich quality. Even as he faced serious health issues in recent years, he continued to do what he loved with humor and grace, and he never gave up. His family and friends will go on treasuring his incredible talent and remarkable character.
