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EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK:
'CONVERSATIONS WITH NEO'
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Neo talks about love and
romance
Once I asked Neo what he thought the nature of
love and romance was. I also wanted to know if there was a
difference between the two.
Neo looked up at my questions as he was eating a blood orange
with childlike delight.” The juice was running down his chin. He
was eating the red succulent fleshy part of the fruit by peeling
it away from the outer peel with his large teeth. When he had
finished the last of the flesh with greedy satisfaction, instead
of throwing away the peels, he threw these into his mouth with
indiscriminate zeal.
He saw the startled look on my face, smiled and said, “Waste
not, want not I always say.”
“Aren’t those bad for you,” I asked?
“He said, “Na, no worries, no pesticides were used and I
scrubbed the peels.”
Neo said, “What do you think?”
“I was taught that the peels were bad for you,” I said.
Neo chuckled, “No, I mean what do you think about love
and romance?”
I was still stuck on the fact that he was eating orange peels.
I said, “Are you telling me that the only reason you’re eating
them is because they are not bad for you?”
Neo laughed showing his prominent teeth as he still had a
mouthful of orange and peel rolling around as he said, “Well my
people are taught that if it ain’t bad fer ya just eat it, or
make use of it somehow.” “Actually orange peels can be good fer
ya.” “Orange peels help ta reduce the livers over production of
endogenous bad cholesterol.”
My jaw must have looked as if it dropped to the carpet because
he started to choke on his blessed orange peels while he
laughed.
Neo said with exaggerated exasperation, “What?”
I said, “You’re a regular Mr. Science you are!” “Where in the
hell do you come up with all of that shit?”
He coughed up the bothersome pieces in his throat and then he
said, “Ah, ya know I read the “Woman’s Home Journal.” We both
laughed at this.
“I just like to read and research a lot Vinny,” Neo admitted.
“Well bottom line, do the peels taste good,” I asked?
Neo tossed me an orange and he leaned his head toward me and
said, “Try it.” “Now answer my question.” “What do you
think about love and romance?”
Rolling around the plump orange in both hands I pondered his
question, “Shit, sometimes I hate when you answer questions with
questions,” I said.
Neo just smiled as he stretched his rangy frame, “Well people
learn best when they can answer their own questions.”
I had
been starving and I tore into the orange without tasting it. I
had tore into it with such gusto that I had juice smeared all
over my face and I felt silly as I said, “Oh uh…I think love is
just a word for a biological process.”
Neo said, “Just a biological process or could it be a feeling
that causes biological synapses ta register?
“Is this a ‘what came first the chicken or the egg’ kind of
question,” I asked?
“Indeed it is, “Neo said.
I said, “I think what we call love is a mechanism that insures
survival of the species.”
Neo said, “Do animals feel love?”
I said, “I don’t think they do.” “I think humans create concepts
and ideas and attach them to sexual drives and we call this
love.”
Neo said, “You think this is needed to insure procreation?
“I think so,” I said.
Neo said, “But ya just said animals don’t feel love.” “Obviously
the sex drive of animals is enough to ensure procreation.”
“Hmm, I see your point,” I mused. “Okay…love is a biological
mechanism to insure that the families stay together.” “That the
males of our species will stay with the females to help them to
care for the offspring and still have an available female for
steady sex.”
Neo said, “There are lots of animals where the male participates
with the protection of the family and rearing of the offspring,
and the males often do this without the benefit of sexual
convenience.”
I thought, “Damn it, that’s right.” “I guess humans are just
wired differently,” I said.
“Neo said, “In fact…humans according to you are much more likely
to desert their offspring than many of the animals that are
documented to stay with their mates and offspring.” “Humans are
much more likely to engage in infidelity and infanticide much
more often than the higher mammals and birds that tend to their
families.”
I said, “So I guess that love may be an emotion unique to humans
but felt and demonstrated by only some humans.”
Neo tossed me another blood orange and he commenced to tear open
another with his teeth. I follow his example.
In between bites, smacking sounds, and licking the sticky juice
off of his fingers Neo said, “Perhaps love is something that
many animals feel, especially as their brains git bigger.”
“Perhaps the more complex an organism’s brain the more intricate
the peripheral emotions.” Neo tilted his head as he looked at
me and said, ‘Also the more complex the organism, the more
intricate the concepts that are perhaps attached to the energy
of love.”
I was perplexed at the puzzle as to why humans were less
dependable than many of the higher mammals to care for their
young, and I voice my bewilderment to Neo.
Neo said, “Animals do not have the powerful intellect that
humans do to deceive themselves.” “For example: Other higher
animals, such as primates, dolphins and other “smart’ animals
are capable of deception.”
Neo starts to eat the peel of the other blood orange with
ill-disguised relish, he said, “But they engage in only the
deception of other animals.” “Their instincts keep them right in
line to operate in the most effective manner for their
survival.” “Animals can’t afford self-deception -- it goes
against optimal survival protocol.”
I chewed on both Neo’s explanation and the orange -- tasting the
tanginess or the peel releasing its natural chemicals in the
air. I mentioned this odd taste of the oranges in the air and so
I asked, “Okay Mr. Science what is in the orange that is causing
this non-sweet taste that I feeling in the air with my tongue?”
Without batting an eyelash Neo rattles off, “Could be that yer
tasting the high concentrations of citric acid, or the
alkaloid synephrine, or citral which is a volitile
oil, or limonene a type of lipid, and a few
polyphenols such as cyanidin, dephinidin, and
tangeretin.”
We both laughed at his humorous answer…it was so over the top.
I felt
I had to show off to Neo what little nutritional knowledge I had
been learning at Lane Community College, so I said, “Leave to
you to turn a simple question into a complex answer.” “Most
people would have simply said, ‘I don’t know’, or at best say
fructose, or the carotenoids beta-carotene, zeaxanthin, or
lutein.” “But oh no, not you…you got to bring up lots of hundred
dollar words that practically no one has heard before,” I
laughed hard as I finished my lecture.
Neo had a look of mock contrition on his face and he said, “Well
ya wanted to know what you tasted in the air…ya did not ask what
nutrients were in the bloody orange.”
Still laughing I half kidded, “You probably made those words up
on the spot.”
Neo said, “Ya can check the info fer yerself at the library if
you do not believe me.”
I
could tell he didn’t care whether I believed him or not and I
thought he figured that I would check on those words anyways.”
I said, “Okay…but I’m going to have to ask you to write those
words down for me…I can’t spell them much less remember them.”
(At the end of our talk, he did write them down and of course I
did check to see if those words existed – and sure enough they
did and they are found in many types of citrus fruits, -- the
smug bastard!)
Neo dared me to eat the peels that I had piled at my side. I did
and much to my surprise they were not bad. I would not prefer
the skin to the fleshy part of the orange as I am prone to do
with fried chicken…but it wasn’t bad.
Slurping as I spoke, “If humans have greater intellects which is
the source of both good and bad things, why do we make the
decision to bypass sensible instincts and involve ourselves with
self-deception?”
Neo said, “Humans get caught up in emotional drama.” “They are
socialized to put all sorts of odd values on things and these
often conflict with optimal survival protocols.” “As
individuals, humans unlike animals will even have conflicting
values and this causes them to have tendencies towards
operating, no…suffering from psychological or cognitive
dissonance.” “You and I don’t need to look far to find examples
of this phenomena.” “Both of us need only to look at some of the
members within our families to see that this is true.”
I sighed and said, “Boy and howdy on that one partner.”
Neo said, “Both of our fathers and other family members suffered
from conflicts of their values and desires.”
“If
you were ta ask either of our fathers why they left their
families to their own devices they would have a slew full of
rational sounding but in essence irrational reasons for their
behavior.”
“I said, “The logical reason was that they were being very
selfish.” “They wanted what they wanted, when they wanted it.”
Neo looked more intense and he lean in further as he made his
point saying, “Yes in essence, at their core that is correct.”
“But with humans it is a trickier than that.” Animals want what
they want, when they want…but they do not deceive themselves
with elaborate stories to rationalize and justify their
behavior.” “Animals do not create dissonance with in their
operating systems.” They simply act with the most effective
survival protocol that works the best for their species.” Neo
said, “When a survival protocol is no longer useful, the animals
will adapt or die out.”
I said, “It seems to me that cognitive dissonance is highly
maladaptive.”
Neo tilted his head as if he was wondering if I was going to
catch on to where he was going.
He said, “Indeed it is very maladaptive.”
“Why is it that we haven’t become extinct,” I asked?
Neo eyes gleamed with predatory zest as he said, “Who says that
were not on the fast track to extinction?”
I said, “Well how did we managed to last this long?”
Neo said, “In geological time, or naturalistic time for that
matter, we haven’t been on the planet near as long as other
animals; especially the animals that have not been tainted by
their exposure to us.” “We have lasted only this meager amount
of time because our intellectual part of our brain does allow us
to brute and compensate our way through and past our screw ups.”
“Sort of like the way that you brute yer way through a judo
match against an opponent that has more skill than you.” “By
compensating with the brute force of yer strength over a skilled
opponent ya git the job done now…but in the future a skilled
opponent with yer strength or an opponent so highly skilled yer
brute strength will not be able to help you.” “This is how
humans as a species tend ta operate, by using the brute strength
of their intellect to by pass easier more logical survival
protocols.”
I was getting antsy and since I could see what he was getting
out I still wanted the original question I asked answered so I
said, “I want to know the bottom line…is their really such a
thing as true love.”
Neo sighed and smile as he turned out his big palms in a gesture
of ‘ya got me.’
He said, “That is one of the mysteries of the Universe mate.”
“Let me ask ya…do you think yer mother loved you?”
I answered without hesitation, “Yes, definitely.”
How do you know,” Neo asked?
I said, “Because she sacrificed so much for us when she could
have left us.” “She went beyond the minimum required by law or
social convention.”
Neo eyes turned inward as he slowing said, “Do you think yer
father loves you?”
Without hesitation I said, “No.” “That is so unlikely.”
Why do you say that,” Neo asked?
I said, “Because my dad without reservation or guilt left our
family to our own devices when it would have been no real
sacrifice on his part to send some money.” “He could have easily
done this if he was concerned about us not going hungry.” “My
dad made so much money back then…it would not have put a dent in
his finances.” “He still would have had plenty of money to party
and chase whores.”
Neo said, “Ya sound bitter mate.”
I said, “Well, it does frustrate me and his actions perplexes me
when I think about it.” “But aside from that I believe that if
my dad loved me…he would not have been able to bear the thought
of his children going hungry.”
Neo said, “So you think that with love…if there is such a thing
for the sake of argument—has to do with sacrifice?”
I said, “Yes, sometimes I think it does.” “It’s funny though…my
dad would have tears in his eyes when he talked to us, telling
us how much he loved us and how much he missed us.” “My
relatives would tell me that my dad cried and suffered many
times.” “As a kid, I always wondered if it wasn’t just an act
that my dad was putting on for us and his other family members.”
“I still wonder about that.”
I heard Neo make a sharp inhalation noise that sounded heartfelt
and as he breathed out slowly, sadly he said, “Perhaps yer dad
was only acting…which would sadly indicate he is a narcissist
and perhaps has some socio-pathic tendencies.” “I suspect
however, that yer dad is only a narcissist and suffers from many
internal mechanisms that cause him to suffer cognitive
dissonance.” “Yer dad is not operating with the most effective
survival or social protocols.”
I felt impatient and said, ‘Whatever!” “Regardless of the
reasons are it does our family little good.”
Neo said, “I notice ya read a book written by a mate of mine,
it’s called “The Road Less Traveled”.
I said, “Hell, you know him also?”
Neo said, “I know him…I studied under him.” “I don’t want ta go
into all of that now, but I want you to tell me what he says
about love.” “Can you remember the different types of love?”
I breathed in feeling anxious as I often do when I am being
tested.
I said, “Okay…here goes.” “Dr. Peck said that there is a
father’s and mother’s love for their children, Arthurian love or
romantic love, the love of your fellow humans, erotic love,
Platonic love, God’s love for creation or the love of God by
some humans and finally self-love”
Neo said, “Without hesitation you said yer mother loves you?”
“Yes,” I said.
Neo asked, “Do you believe that some father’s love their
children the way your mother loves you?”
Thinking of Mr. Mullen, Mr. Aberant, Mr. Burns, Mr. Matz and Mr.
HarcelrodeI said, “Yes.”
“Do you believe that some people feel very romantic and knightly
in regards to how they interact with other people,” Neo asked?
I thought of Angelina and a few other men and women that I knew
so I said, “Yes.”
Neo tilted his head as he plopped another slice of blood orange
in his mouth and as he chewed he spoke, “Do you believe that
friends could sacrifice and love each other and not just friends
that people can actually just love other humans and sacrifice
for them?”
I thought about my friends and how at times that I felt a pure
non-conditional love for humanity. I thought of all the times
that I have sacrificed for some of my friends and how some of
them have sacrificed for me. I thought of the times that I had
put my life on the line for my fellow Marine or for a total
stranger.
I said, “Yes.”
Neo smiled and said, “Have ya ever felt erotic love?”
I laughed and said, “Oh boy howdy!” “More often than I
can count.”
“Do you think people are capable of feeling all of those types
of love separately and in some cases towards one of more
people?”
I said, “Yes…now that you mention it. I think some of us could
be capable of it.” “I know that I would like to think that one
day I would be capable of feeling that way with all the women
that I feel erotic love with.” “I would like to feel that way
with most of the women I feel Platonic love for.”
Neo said, “Do you remember what else Dr. Peck said, about love?”
I had to admit that I had drawn a blank on remembering anything
else from his book concerning love.
Neo said, “Dr. Peck has stated that love is hard to quantify,
but his best definition of love is when you put another person’s
well being and spiritual growth ahead of yer needs.” “This does
not imply being a martyr or a door mat, or a sick obsessive
enabler.” “For example, if you are feeling extraordinarily randi
fer some Shelia, and ya want ta rut with her in the worst
way…but ya know that her spiritual, emotional, mental, and
physical well-being would be better off if ya refrain from
rutting with her; and if ya refrained from rutting with her
because you cared more about her well being in any of the areas
I described that would be a fine example of sacrifice because of
true love.”
I mumbled, “I must admit that’s not my usual method of
operating.” “I do let the woman know that where I am coming from
and that I am not the type of guy she should be investing all of
her hopes and dreams on corralling.” “At least I am straight
forward in that way.” ”I figure that once forewarned all is
fair.”
Neo made an odd face and said, “Well at least that’s a sight
better than what most blokes do.” “Vinny, on one level ya seem
like ya want to love a woman in all the ways imaginable and ya
seem like ya crave to be loved in all the ways imaginable.”
I was getting extremely uncomfortable with the direction Neo was
going. I did not want to pursue this line of questioning, but I
felt I must explain myself to him.
I said, “Sure sometimes I think I want that.” I certainly don’t
think I could get involved with a woman long-term if I didn’t
feel erotic love for her, regardless if I loved her in all the
other ways possible.” “Besides even though I feel like I believe
in all of those areas of love…I think I am incapable of being in
a monogamous love relationship.” “I may be incapable of love
period.”
Why do you say that,” Neo asked?
I said, “Because no matter how loving the women I have been
with…no matter how beautiful they are…no matter how great sex is
with them – I still find myself lusting for other women.”
Neo starts laughing uncontrollably. When his convulsions
minimized he said in a perfect President Carter drawl, “Oh lord,
I have lusted in my heart.” “I hope God forgives my
lustful heart.” He has more spasms. Finally he says, “Just
because ya lust fer other women ya think yer incapable of being
monogamous?” “Vinny, yer a man…it is not a real problem if ya
just feel lust, as long as yer in charge of yer pecker and not
vice versa.”
“I’m afraid that I am too much like all the men in my family,” I
bemoaned. “I sometimes feel like I am a slave to my chubby.”
Neo looked solemn, “Sexual addiction can be a problem…it can
ruin ya.” “Chasing lots of Shelias will keep from getting
commitment, and it will foster a greater need for sexual
release.” “This can eat up a lot of valuable time that you could
be evolving in other areas.”
I was feeling defensive again and I said, “I have tried to go
the monogamous route, but once you do that women will often
start pushing for marriage.”
Neo cluck his tongue in mock pity, “What is wrong with a woman
wanting commitment?”
Flustered to the point of anger, I said, “Look…I can handle
commitment; but every time the women I have been with start
thinking I am willing to commit they start changing the rules on
you.” “If you tell them that you don’t want kids and the white
picket fence for the first five to ten years they start to pull
the emotional blackmail crap.”
Instead of consoling me for my woes, Neo looked supremely amused
by my whining, he said, “Oh what do ya mean by blackmailing?”
I said, “Well for example, it goes something like this; first
the woman will say she is happy to have you no matter what.”
“Then the woman will say, I want to get married within the year
and have kids.” “Then the woman says, if you really loved me you
won’t want us to move away from the area, because my folks live
here.” “If you loved me, you will understand why I want to have
kids as soon as possible.” “Lots of shit like that,” I said,
“I just did not want to be like one of the many poor slobs that
I work with.” “I cannot count the number of men that I talked to
whose wives got pregnant right after the wedding despite all the
promises made that they would wait to have kids.”
I was on a rant now, I said, “You can trust them to take birth
control and hope that they don’t ‘accidentally’ forget to
take their pills.” “If you decide to wear condoms in conjunction
with the rhythm method they often bitch that they don’t like the
condoms or not being spontaneous.”
Neo was continuing to good naturally mock my whining fest with a
studied long suffering look on his face.
He said, “Did you ever think of getting a vasectomy?”
Now it was my turn to give Neo a long suffering look – not
entirely mock, I said, “Even though the women I have been with
whined about the idea…I actually shopped around for a doctor
that would do the operation.”
“They all refused me when I was nineteen, and they refused me
when I was twenty five.” “They all keep telling me to wait until
I am older.”
Neo starts to make noises like Louie Armstrong, “Hmm mmm mmhg.”
“Doctors are afraid of lawsuits. “There have been lots of cases
where men have regretted their decision to get a vasectomy and
have sued their doctors for not considering their young ages.”
“Yeah that and because in their hearts those doctors would
resent guys like me having all of that uninhibited fun,” I said
half jokingly.
Neo laughed, “Perhaps yer right.” “You could get a vasectomy
over seas.” “Someplace in Europe, New Zealand or Australia.”
“Doctors in other countries don’t have the lawsuit problems that
doctors in the States have, and they are less worried about
foreigners.”
“I have never thought of that,” I said, my spirits were starting
to lift over this prospect.”
“You don’t ever want to have kids,” Neo asked?
I said, “I figure that I will be ready to have kids when I
experience life a little more and get financially stable.”
“I figure I would adopt a kid.” “I could love a kid regardless
if it came from my loins or not.”
Neo said solemnly, “I believe you could Vinny.” “At any rate,
finding love and romance with one or more people who share the
same goals and values – that you can also trust is rare indeed.”
In a tongue and cheek manner I said, “When I was ten…before I
became the wonderful sexual being that you see in front you now,
I read a wonderful book that would solve a lot of
problems.”
Neo snorted and affected an East Indian accent, “Oh please oh
wondrous sexual being that I see blessing me with your presence,
pray tell what book of wisdom that you would promote to change
the world.” “Please Sahib, oh pray tell will you bless me
with such wondrous knowledge.”
“Ok, ok, enough with the sarcasm Hajji – the book is
written by Robert Heinlein and it is called “Stranger in a
Strange Land.” “I thought it would be great if everyone in the
world could live this way…without hate, or jealousy.”
Neo said, “Ya like the idea of a communal family unit do ya?”
I said, “Yeah it would be great – all of the men and women
sharing love and sex with each other.” The people that wanted to
have kids would have them and share the responsibilities and
people that did not want to have kids also share the
responsibilities.” “This way, people could pool their resources
of money, food, time, and skills.” “It could be worked out that
if someone wanted or needed to get away for awhile it could be
done.”
Neo indulged me with a knowing smile, he said, “I have lived in
communes in a variety of cultures.”
I looked at him dying to hear about all of the sexual orgies.
He said, “Communal life rarely works, especially when the
sharing of sex partners comes into play.” “Especially when a
culture or a society gets more complex – when people in cultures
become more materialistic and product oriented.”
I was very naive` back then, much more than I am now. I couldn’t
not conceive as to why what I thought was such a potentially
superior way to live would not stay and as said as much to Neo.
Neo smiled a secret and said, “Because the majority of humans
are lazy, practice self deception and they suffer from the
green-eyed monster of jealousy.”
I defensively said, “I am not jealous.”
Neo said, “No your not.” But most people are because at their
core they don’t like other people as having more, being
perceived as being more attractive, they don’t like to be
compassed sexually or otherwise.” “People also fear
abandonment.”
I said, “Well I can understand the last part to a degree, but I
don’t understand the other stuff.” “What frustrates me is that
most women, particularly the women I have been with think that
jealousy, and covetousness is natural and therefore good or at
least is to be accepted.” “Most men I know like the idea of
having lots of girl friends but they do not like it when the
shoe is on the other foot.”
Neo pulls out a bag of Brazil nuts and he pushes over a pile of
them towards me. He puts one in his mouth and with the force and
precision he easily breaks open the shell. I felt my teeth ache
at the sight of him biting the nuts like I would M and M’s. I
could do the same since my teeth were strong, but I was
approached the biting with a delicate tentativeness.” I would
not attempt to break anything harder than a peanut shell
nowadays.”
I looked at the Brazil nuts and I thought, “I wonder…. and I
said, “Bet you can’t tell me all of the nutrients in Brazil
nuts.”
Neo was just about to but a the meaty kernel of a large nut that
he had just crack from his strong teeth back into his mouth but
my challenged caused him to pause and he said, without batting
an eye, “Mmm, then ya would accuse me of being a show-off.”
“Ah ha, I shouted, yer just a one trick wonder…just like Harry,”
I scorned. I knew he didn’t want to show off, so I thought I
could goad him into performing for me, after all it works on
most people.
Neo laughed and said, “Save the adolescent reverse psychology
fer someone like Harry.”
I laughed and started with the mock whining, “Please, please, oh
pretty please Mr. Science.”
Neo said, “This little beauty is chock full high amounts of
methionine, some arginine, cysteine,
glutamic acid which of course are amino acids, and
then it has the fatty acids such as linoleic acid,
myristic asid, oleic acid, alpha-linolenic
acid, stearic acid and very high amounts of
palmitic acid.” “Would ya like to hear about the
vitamins and minerals mate?”
I laughed and said, “Just the ones in high amounts.”
“Well Vinny, Neo says in his best Mr. Science voice, the Brazil
nut is very high in lots of minerals such as potassium,
and phosphorus and fair amount of calcium and
magnesium, and a respectable amount of selenium.”
“The
wonderful Brazil nut is natures fine way to prevent various
forms of cancer because in addition ta all of these wonderful
nutrients the Brazil nut also contain ellagic acid
and this acid, in conjunction with selenium are the key
ingredients that are crucial for protecting the body against
many cancers.”
His imitation of Mr. Science was really funny. You had to be
there.
I said, “No doubt you will write these nutrients down so that I
can check the nutritional composition tables at school.
Neo said, “Sure, and if you want to check on the references that
show that the wonderful Brazil nuts cancer fighting properties,
ya can check the British Journal of Nutrition.”
“Could you give me the month and year of the publication,” I
mocked?
“Na, but it was published before 1981,” Neo volunteered. “Now
let me back ta my wonderful Brazil nuts.”
“Now where the hell were we before yer attention wandered off?”
I said, “I mentioned that most guys liked the idea of having sex
with lots of women, but not vice versa.”
As he swallowed the nut Neo took time to pause and said, “Yeah
guys are big on trying out communal life style as long as they
can live like Sheiks with a harem.” “They would prefer to keep
all the men around them eunuchs.”
“Neo said, “By the way, yer lady friends are right jealousy and
covetous feelings and behaviors are natural, for primates.”
As I was chewing my mouthful of Brazil nuts I was pondering as
to why communes failed.”
“If people had the drive to start communes and could see the
benefits for them, why aren’t they advanced enough to keep the
communes sustainable,” I asked”
Now Neo was lustily chowing down the nuts at a faster pace.
Normally Neo ate in what I would call a slow methodical and
reverent pace. Today he seemed like a man on a mission.
Neo said, “There are lots of reasons, some good, and some bad.”
“A lot of people like the concept that Robert Heinlein presented
in his book.” “You have to remember that he wrote about a
concept, an ideal.” True to most people’s nature they want to
bench seven hundred pounds right from the git go; they want to
skip evolution.”
“They
want to skip all of the hard work that it would take to achieve
the level of growth to be able to live in such an environment/”
“They want to start from the top.” “This is one of the biggest
flaws of the human primate.”
I felt a sense of pleasure that Neo referred to most people as
human primates. I guess because I had been doing just that since
I was a child, even though at times I recognized and admitted
that I too was a primate.”
“Hearing the consensus of perception in this matter from Neo’s
lips, I at least felt like a more clever primate.
I said, “It’s the sexual jealousy and comparison thing, isn’t
it?” I had to quickly get in that I never suffered from the fear
of being sexually compared.
Neo
eyes glowed with amusement at my last assertion and he said, “Do
you think yer a better lover than most people?”
I said with all the humility that I felt, “No…I just don’t see
any reason to worry and dwell on if I am or not.” “I usually
managed to give lovemaking my best effort.” “I also realize that
everyone has different taste.” “Some people only like
hamburgers, other people only like filet’ mingon, and some
people like to sample a variety of things.”
“I
realize that I cannot be all things to all women.” “It’s best to
have other men and women to share the task.” “But most people do
not like to be compared sexually and they are sexually
possessive.”
Neo
still looked amused, “It sounds like you have given this a lot
of thought.”
“Just every day of my life,” I thought.
Neo
said, “Actually many communes degenerate not because of the sex
thing.”
“But
because there are often disagreements as to who is pulling their
weight and who is not concerning the labors of the commune that
needs to be delegated and shared.” “Also, eventually some people
realize that communal life is not for them.” “Some people prefer
monogamy and not because they fall prey to jealousy.” “For many
people, monogamy is simpler, and more effective for their lives
in many respects.”
I said, “That’s cool, if that’s what people prefer then so be
it.” “I just think that communes are better in fostering more
ease of living and more effective and intense spiritual growth.”
Neo was looking more amused by the minute as he continued to
chomp on his nuts. Neo said, “So you have experience living in a
commune?”
I puffed up my chest in defense and pride and told him of my Key
West experience.”
Neo
said, “Having a day ta day daisy chain with a handful of Shelias
is not the same thing.” “Also Vinny, It is easier for people to
attain spiritual attainment in a monogamous relationship than in
a communal environment.”
I said, “What do you mean?”
Neo paused on his consumption of the nuts and leaned in intently
and said, “When you are in love with one woman and ya put all of
yer all into just that woman…it is easier fer the both of yer
nervous systems to resonate and then merge and intertwine.”
“This is the zenith of love and sex.” “For most people having
only one love interest to focus on and that person on you is the
alpha – the beginning of spiritual ecstasy and the omega – the
end or final point of when the both of ya merge.” “It is the
most blissful experience that two people can experience
together, especially while engaging in the sexual act.”
I said, “Can’t this be learned in a commune with many partners?”
Neo said, “It’s possible, but ya tend ta have yer attention and
energies scattered. “ “You can’t start at the top.”
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