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EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK:
MOST PEOPLE TALK BULLSHIT
- One Primate's Search For Intelligent Life
Senior Girls Are The Best
Within the month, a few girls who were seniors approached me. I
was overwhelmed and a little intimidated by their
aggressiveness. I was also flattered that these seniors wanted
to fool around with me.
A few
guys at school tried to warn me that I might want to steer clear
of these girls. I asked them why.
They said, ‘Well, Honey and Lucy have reputations for being
loose.”
With mock pious outrage I said, “Oh heaven forbid!” “Not girls
with bad reputations.”
Of course I had heard exactly what I wanted to hear.
The
icing on the cake was that these girls had let their friends
know that they were on birth control. For me this was a dream
come true. It was going to be all fun and games. One of the
girls Honey was beautiful, and the other – Lucy certainly
attractive.
One day, while skipping class, Lucy, one of the girls who I had
been dallying with in the auditorium had told me that she had
taken cocaine earlier that morning. She said cocaine made her
extremely horny.
We
were lying on a pile of unused curtains in the back corner of
the auditorium, where Lucy and I were going at it pretty hot and
heavy.
As I was vying to dominate the end game of our make out session,
I made a strategic move to steal a base with the hopes of
accomplishing my goal.
She grabbed my hand stopping me as she held me in the strategic
spot I had reached and she said pointedly, “What do you want?”
Not wanting to put the point so bluntly on the table I said,
“What do you think I want?”
She was not about to let me off so easily, “Tell me what you
want!”
As I looked intently into her eyes, I decided to be a little
bolder, “Let’s cut the shit, you know what I want.”
We both wanted to continue our merging but she wanted to take
our activity that would not be in plain sight. Her warm hand
imprisoned mine and she led me to one of many chairs that were
situated behind the curtains that hung down and hid the back
wall.
There was about three feet between the back wall and the
curtains.
In a voice so husky it could pull a sled, she murmured, “Vinny,
have you ever had sex while you were sitting down?”
I wanted desperately for both of our primate vessels to merge.
In a voice horse and quavering from both excitement and outrage,
that she would even think to question the length and breadth of
my experience.
I
sensed my answer could make or break the deal. I did what I had
to do to convince her of my vast experience. So I said, “Ahh, of
course, I’ve had sex many times while sitting in a chair.”
This of course was a lie, but I did not want to queer the
possibility for some great sex, (or any sex for that matter),
since I had not had complete intercourse since I was twelve.
Besides, Lucy made it known that she was on birth control pills,
so this made the deal sweeter.
Being the experienced young woman of bad reputation that she
was, she expertly guided the merging.
All systems were a-go, all engines were moving.
Then, an unexpected heart stopping sound of the side door to the
stage crashed open. Lucy and I stopped from the fear of
discovery. The Vice Principle for reasons unbeknownst to us
decided to patrol the auditorium.
From the way he carefully looked this way and then that,
scanning the semi-darkness, it was evident that he had been
alerted the auditorium was being used for carnal activities or
other teenage foolery.
From our vantage point we could see him through a section of the
curtains as we struggled to keep our ragged breathing quiet and
our pounding hearts under control so that he would not be
alerted to our presence.
Our terror increased as he walked towards us. We were certain
that he spotted us in the shadows and it was then my mind raced
to figure out what I would do. The beast within me wanted to
continue. My Mr. Hyde was filled with fear and rage at the
thought of anyone interfering with my primal urgings.
Quickly the mind of the beast had determined that I would have
to attack the Vice Principle, subdue him, bind him and then
continue with my prime directive.
The Vice principal reaches just past the halfway mark of the
stage and is now closer to us. I ready myself for the
confrontation that I knew will happen. Suddenly he stops. He
stares in our direction as if he thought he saw something amiss
in the darkness, but appears to be uncertain. As suddenly as he
stopped, he spun on his heels and quickly walks away slamming
the door as he leaves.
Both of us breathe sighs of relief. Both of us laugh from the
release of the tension we had felt. The both of us found the
entire event exciting; for her it was especially a turn-on.
Both of us resumed to complete our prime directive. There was no
pretense of romance. We fucked like lawless gypsies. The beast
within me, my Mr. Hyde was quite happy. The experience with Lucy
was not mystical like it was the first time I had sex with
Carleta or the several times with Honey.
Nor during any of the times with her was it ever mystical, just
primal and base and it did set the tone for future sexual
triggers. To this day I still get a woody whenever I enter an
auditorium or theater.
Just kidding! Well…sort of!
After life long reflection, I wish I had not started physically
maturing until I turned thirty. It would have made my life
simpler. My situation was not helped by the open campus policy
that our new principle had introduced. This new principal’s
policy allowed kids to come and go, as they liked.
If you didn’t go to class or if you walked the halls, as long as
you didn’t cause trouble you were left alone. They figured that
it was the parent’s responsibility to monitor their children. If
a kid missed X amount of days or certain classes they would send
a letter to the parents. Problem was, I got the mail before my
parents. They never saw the letters. I was a baaad boy.
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