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EXCERPT FROM THE
BOOK:
MOST PEOPLE TALK
BULLSHIT - One Primate's Search For Intelligent Life
CHAPTER EIGHT
1961 – Kindergarten – The Year I turned Five
Camelot Was Born In
America
It was this year that my bio-computer made dramatic advances of
laying down and branching out millions of new neural networks.
These new networks were set down in preparation for my effective
survival in this harsh world.
Despite a few sensory flaws due to mechanical problems caused by
the over-oxygenated incubator I had been imprisoned shortly
after birth; my bio-computer was enjoying phenomenal growth.
It was if a veil was lifted from my senses and the flood gates
of my neural networks open wide to allow much greater array of
sensory information to rush in and be readily available for my
brain to assimilate, computate and evaluate.
It seemed as if overnight, I was able to read… even adult books
and give accurate detailed seminars on what I read. It was this
year that I began to notice and ponder the differences in
people’s physical attributes, such as: “ Why doesn’t Uncle
Antonio, Grandpa and Uncle VD have hair on their heads, while
my Dad and my Uncle Vince have a lot?’ “Why do old people look
different and ill compared to not so old people like Mom and
Dad?’ “Why doesn’t the man at the barber shop have one of his
arms?”
I began to be aware of other people’s feelings and emotions
outside of my own and evaluate various physical and verbal cues
as to what they were feeling and why.
Although it would be another year or so before my parents and I
would realize how badly damaged my eyes were and that my
olfactory senses had also been completely destroyed from the
high-oxygen prison I had been sequester to shortly after my
premature birth; I still managed to take in an enormous volume
of complex sensory data.
Perhaps it could be argued that I was able to do this because of
– and not in spite of my bio-computer’s two main sensory data
collecting units impairment; as an adaptation of my survival
protocol to compensate for one or two losses by becoming more
hyper-aware in many other ways not immediately apparent.
At any rate, regardless of the reasons, as I became more
actively aware of the external world, my internal and private
cognitive processes actively increased ten-fold by comparison.
This newly acquired cognitive gift was both a strength and
weakness; on one hand it beckoned me to live for the majority of
my time in the internal environment of “Vinny land”, thereby
ignoring or muting my desire to socialize outside my family unit
– especially with non-adults.
With adults, particularly within my nuclear and extended family
unit my bio-computer made an exception; because attention to
these people increased my chances of survival and because of
this, these infrequent interaction brought me pleasure.
This was also the year that I began to explore further and
farther away from my previous boundaries set by my mother and by
my curious but cautious survival programs. This year, when my
mother wasn’t looking… I actually explored beyond the wild
fields behind our house. I even managed to travel to one end of
our block on our street and then to the other end. It was a
fearful and exciting event the first time I was bold enough to
do this on my own; although I had felt somewhat safe by my
ability to glance down the street and barely make out a landmark
that I knew to be in front of my house. I felt as daring as an
astronaut on the end of a tether as he floats outside of his
spacecraft for the first time.
At the farthest perimeter of my block I would look out with
wonder as far as my myopic eyes could see… sometimes all the way
to the hazy horizon.
It was
during these excursions that I would wonder and marvel at the
mysteries of what laid beyond, what strange sights were there to
see, what strange people and dwellings would I find if I dared
to keep walking?
I’m sure I felt all of the wonder and fear that early
inhabitants of earth felt when they looked out at the great
expanse of the oceans and believed that the world was flat and
that dreadful monsters and wondrous treasures existed beyond the
boundaries that they had dared to wander.
I could understand how they believed that beyond a certain point
of venture… a hapless explorer was likely to fall off the edge
of the earth.
I remember the first time I ventured beyond the sight of the
comforting landmark situated in front of our house and made a
left at the corner to explore a side of the block I had never
been to before. (I did not dare as yet to cross the street, that
would have invited an ass whooping if my mother found out!).
It was frightening to give up sight of the familiar landmark as
I decided to use the corner of our block as a new sight to
anchor to. As I traveled up the block I kept on looking back
fearfully, instinctually, to get my visual bearings… and I kept
going until I made it to another uncharted corner of the block
we lived.
I felt a keen sense of satisfaction and triumph! My confidence
grew as I walked numerous times back and forth boldly from my
new found territory to my house and back again. I felt as bold
and rugged as any seasoned trapper that traveled wilderness
areas where most city folk were to timid to ponder much less
explore.
Then the day came when I was bold enough to make another left
on the block on which we lived; and I traveled this route back
and forth until I felt casual about my surroundings.
Finally the time came when I made my third left turn. I traveled
down the new length of this street without performing my usual
back and forth wanderings to bolster my confidence in unfamiliar
terrain. Instead, I boldly went forward until I came down to the
unknown corner at the far end.
Once I made it to my new goal, certain sites struck me as
familiar. This of course confused me. I looked right, I looked
left. My world was rocked! Much to my surprise and amazement, I
was looking at the street on which my house was situated!
As smart as I was, (as smart as I like to think I was), I had
never in my wildest imaginings expected to come back close to my
place of origin – my home – by this route. I’m sure I felt as
elated and triumphed as Magellan must have when he and his crew
of fearful and brave Argonauts had been the first men to ever
circumnavigated the globe.
Like a joyful idiot, I madly ran to my house and then around the
block one direction and then another laughing like a maniacal
troll as I did this several times.
My
behavior must have looked so odd that several adults and their
families had ventured out of their homes or stopped their tasks
in their yards to stare at the strange and unfamiliar kid
laughing, yelling and giggling as I made my way around several
times.
Needless to say, this wondrous adventure inspired me over time
to travel in ever widening jaunts… taking in two blocks, then
two blocks squared and so forth.
Which
meant that finally I had disobeyed my mother whenever I needed
to cross any street. Of course at this age, I could only do this
when my mother was distracted or more often than not, when she
was sleeping off her depression generated thyroid condition.
Eventually I would be miles away from home searching woodlands
and steams. There were more than a few occasions however, that I
found my self lost and scared, as I would frantically wander in
one direction and then another in search of familiar landmarks.
It was during these frightful times that I would break down in
tears as I worried that I would never see my home or my family
again.
Somehow I always managed to find my way home and when I did the
relief and joy I felt was what Ulysses must have experienced
when he finally found his way home after twenty years of
wandering lost – the oceans of the world.
During this year my preoccupation with my penis increased. I
believed this is partially because I was like most normal boys,
but, perhaps my focus on it was taken to several levels beyond
what most boys would have gone. I think that in place of my
defective eyes and non-existent olfactory sensors… my penis had
adapted in part beyond its function as urinary discharge hose
and mere pleasure sensor – much like a blind man's cane. It had in
part adapted – I’m sure – as a environmental sensor to take the
place or compensate for the loss of my other two very important
sensory input receptors.
I am convinced that my enhanced unit of pleasure helped me to
make my way in the world as I imagined it in its own way, out
and about, sniffing around and as receptive as any high-tech
interstellar antenna.
Although, at the time I had no idea how much trouble my enhanced
pleasure sensor would get me into many years later.
All things being equal, however, I believe that its enhanced
abilities may have aid in my survival and certainly the pleasure
it would give me over a lifetime had been increased
exponentially.
Do you find that hard to believe? Well, give this a thought… why
else would a deaf-mute such as Hellen Keller always be so damn
cheerful for a person suffering such impairments. Let’s not
forget Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder… there is no wondering as
to why they always have a wide self-satisfied smile on their
faces.
No doubt the three of them experienced an enhancement with their
bio-computers’ sexual sensors as well.
In addition to all of these added features to my bio-computer
and its peripheral hardware, this was the first year that I
actually was aware of the events going on in the world outside
of my family and the block we lived on.
I remember all of the most popular songs of this year and my
mother’s books she left laying around the house, and especially
the movies and new TV shows that we saw at least once.
This year, I became aware for the first time, first hand, what
my parents were talking about or watching on TV with regards to
politics and news worthy tragedies that were happening in the
United States and around the world as well.
Perhaps not in the detail that I outline for this year, but at
least at a very basic level of understanding or at least
remembering.
For instance, some of the examples of what I remember at least
at a rudimentary level that happen this year was: A handsome
charismatic scion of America’s leading family, the Kennedy’s was
inaugurated as thirty-fifth President of the United States. He
was unusual in that he was the first Irish Catholic to be
elected and he was young. He was also so cool that he initiated
a lot of American men with a new fashion sense of going hatless,
and other
politicians followed suit. He was the first presidential
candidate whose religion was an issue with non-Catholics
because of their fear that he would subjugate himself to the
Pope. To many of Americans, he was like a beacon of light to the
post war torn country.
Before Kennedy took over the Presidency, President Eisenhower in
a farewell State of the Union Address to Congress warns of the
increasing power of the “Military-Industrial Complex”.
John F. Kennedy inspired hope and vision to a future of hope to
people of all ages. During his few years of office he began the
U.S. Commitment to Vietnam by sending money to increase southern
forces and providing advisors.
He created the Peace Corp, imploring our nation to “Ask not what
your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your
country.” The first head of the Peace Corp was his
brother-in-law Sargent Shriver… Maria Shriver the wife of Arnold
Schwarzenegger wife and first lady of California.
He also was responsible for the Bay of Pigs invasion fiasco.
Unlike most politicians he bravely publicly accept all blame and
responsibility for the fiasco, even though the plans first took
place during the Eisenhower administration, thus further
endearing him to the American people…even his distracters.
In June of the first year of Camelot, President Kennedy and
Khrushchev meet for two days in Vienna to talk about nuclear
tests and disarmament and Germany.
This year the Kennedy-Khrushchev summit was set up to discuss
many issues particularly our involvement with Laos and The East
Germans affect with the west. Khrushchev threatened Kennedy that
force will be met with force and Kennedy stood his ground
telling Khrushchev that it will be a cold winter. Since the
Vienna Kennedy-Khrushchev summit an exodus of people rushed from
East Germany to the West as the Berlin wall was being built. The
Soviets threatened war as they detonated the largest nuclear
bomb ever – a hydrogen bomb at sixty megatons called “Tsar
Bomba”, over Novava Zemlya.
The wall in Berlin was finally built halting the exodus of
people from the East to the West. Tension of total world
annihilation increased.
Our beloved leader adds to the folly by sending eighteen
thousand “military advisors” to South Vietnam. (the population
of a mid-size town).
More racial unrest in Alabama and Mississippi from the ‘Freedom
Fighters’.
I remember my father and mother lamenting the damn illogical
rules against obscenity is the rule of the day. This year
was also the beginning of a decade of artist fighting for first
amendment rights.
Lenny Bruce a comedian and social satirist was arrested for
obscenity at a workshop in San Francisco for using friendly
words such as cocksucker and the word cum in place of orgasm.
His arrests became frequent for obscenity. He suffered multiple
arrests for drug possession in Philadelphia, Los Angeles.
The space race helps to keep us distracted as the Soviets
also sent Yuri, the first human in space further increasing our
competitive nature. President Kennedy makes a speech that we
will land a man on the Moon before the end of the Decade, giving
all Americans a vision for the future. He officially begins the
Apollo Space Program and shortly after, Astronaut Gus Grissom
became the second American to go into space when he piloted the
Mercury IV capsule.
The world population reached three billion during the first year
of Camelot and for me the world was really becoming an
interesting place.
Yes indeed, I was enjoying or noticing all of the distractions
that a handful of earth’s primitive hominids had produced this
year.
The
music of this year
was moving away from the tone of the fifties. New bands
were on the scene such as: Wonderland by Night by Bert
Kaemfert, Will You Love Me Tomorrow by The Shirelles,
Calcutta by Lawrence Welk, Pony Time by Chubby
Checker, Surrender by Elvis Presley, Blue Moon by
The Marcles, Runaway by Del Shannon, Mother-in-Law
by Ernie K-Doe, Running Scared by Roy Orbison, and
Traveling Man by Ricky Nelson. Woody Guthrie was still
popular and Bod Dylan had just came on the scene.
The
tone of the movies were changing also with the likes of:
The Guns of Navarone, The Absent-Minded Professor, The Parent
Trap, Swiss Family Robinson, Exodus, The World of Suzie Wong,
Alamo, Gone With the Wind, 101 Dalmatians, Splendor in the
Grass, West Side Story, Judgment at Nuremberg, and Two Women
with Sophia Loren.
The
most popular books that year which my mom read were:
To Kill a Mockingbird
by
Harper Lee, The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone,
The Carpetbaggers by Harold Robbins, The Tropic of Cancer
by Henry Miller, The Winter of Our Discontent by John
Steinbeck.
Some or the new shows to the list was
Bonanza, Hazel, Perry Mason, Dr. Kildare. Ben Casey, The Bob
Newhart Show, The Bullwinkle Show, Car 54, Where are You, David
Brinkley’s Journal, The Defenders, The Glenn Miller Show,
Gunslinger, The Hathaways, The Joey Bishop Show, Margie, Mr. Ed,
and Ripcord.
It was during this year that these people who would prove to be
essential, in their own way to the survival of our species was:
Eddie Murphy - American actor and comedian,
Randal L. Schwartz - American computer
programmer, Eric Allin Cornell - American physicist, Nobel Prize
laureate, Ben Johnson - Canadian athlete.
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