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I Expanded My Enterprises

It is
night and I am in Juarez. I am ghosting the night, stalking the
streets like a solitary jungle cat hunting to lay claim to new
flesh, for a new woman to fuck. Tonight as on previous nights I
have been methodically, exhaustively exploring an ever-expanding
concentric circle, finding an increasing number of sleazy juke
joints and flesh-shops. My loins demanding that I increase my
exposure to other women.
Somewhere, someone had warned me of the danger of what I am
doing. Warned me of the danger of exploring the Outlands of
Juarez, the fringes beyond the main drag – beyond the G.I.
section.
I am
exploring where the unlicensed and forbidden flesh dens are
littered about; where women operate as free-lance hookers at a
cost of far less than a U.S. dollar and are not monitored by the
government of Mexico. Places we call ‘Rotten Meat Retreats’
because of the higher incidence of venereal disease, robbery,
assaults, murder and illicit drug use which is the common fare.
I am
ignoring all good advice.
I am feeling a fascination with the dark and profane.
I am
also too stupid to realize the real danger I expose myself to
every time I explore these areas.
I momentarily lose my bearings. Suddenly, some soldiers I know
from the base and I are face to face.
I feel
comforted that I see familiar faces.
An
evil pocked face man approaches us.
“Senors, would you like to see a donkey fucking a woman?” For a
few pesos you geet to see women sucking donkey dicks and
geet her pussy fucked by a great beeg ole donkey
dick!”

The Army guys are excited as a bunch of mischievous children
told that they are going on a ride on ‘Magic Mountain.’
“Come
on Chimera, come with us.’
I am
horrified at the idea that anyone would allow a donkey to choke
or impale them with its monster cock.
“Fuck
that, I ain’t going to see that shit, you sick fucks.”
“You
fucking choirboy.”
“Pussy
girl.”
They
all piled into a cab, eager to see a woman’s pussy split open by
a donkey cock.
I
wonder what sort of vocation these devient fucks will end doing
when the get out into the real world; probably postal
management, no doubt.
I
laugh at the thought and laughed more as I struggle to figure
out what subconscious whim causes me to think of such a thing.
I am
once again wandering the streets looking for a new dive to
explore.
A
young dirty boy sidles over. He has bad teeth and a hump in his
back.
“Psstt, psstt! Hey meester, would you like to fuck my
seester? She is a virgin senor.”
I
shake my head and hurry my stride. I need to get away.
He is
insistent.
You
can fuck my mother if you no like my seester!
I look
at him in anger and disgust.
He
stops and raises his hands as if defending himself from a blow.
I walk
a few more blocks. A fat guy walks straight up to me.
“Senor, You like to fuck a little girl? Maybe a little boy?”
I am
afraid. I don’t want trouble. I turn to walk away.
He
grabs my arm holding it firmly.
I can
geet you a little baby, if you want senor. He licks his
lips and rubs his crotch suggestively.
Terrified, I break free. I am running down the street trying to
put as much distance between him and me.

I see what appears to be an unlicensed club. I am now thankful
that I have a place that I can hide from the last guy I had run
into. The place is dark and dank. It looks like what I imagine
an opium den to look like. Waffling in the air is a metallic
taste of cheap perfume, sour sweat and the acrid fumes of
cigarettes, pot and heroin.

I see
men and women sprinkled about the darken rooms drinking beer,
tequila, and smoking pot or heroin. The music playing in the
background is your typical country-western and Spanish fare.
In the
darkness, at the far-side of the club, I see a few of my army
buddies hunkered down on the floor. I see Buster is among them.
Buster has a fondness for heroin and he is a junky. All of the
people in Buster’s group are junkies of one drug or another.
Half of the people hunkering in his group were army. A lot of
army guys I know are hooked on heroin. It was at places such as
this place that he could get hooked up with heroin cheaply.
Buster and his friends are looking cold and grey and appear as
if they were suffering from a chronic low-grade fever.
I am
feeling smug that I don’t have any addictions.
Buster and his friends are laid about, nodding off with women
who are doing drugs with them. The women are hags before their
time, wrinkled creased leathery faces grinning listlessly as
they smoke their shit, as they take their pills, snort their
powders. Half of their teeth are missing, their remaining
yaggers are brown and black with rotten decay and rocking in the
sockets. Their tongues are compulsively moving, worrying and
worming their way through the evicted gums where teeth had once
stood. A few have pendulous breast, like leather baker’s bags.
The age of their bodies are prematurely warped from alternating
stints of undernourishment, physical neglect, and the saturation
of chemicals into their bodies - a constellation of factors
appalling to nature. They are lying with their bodies tumbled
and entwined with Buster and his friends as they are nodding off
repetitively. Buster and his hag are absently rocking their
bodies to an unheard tune.
I am
once again feeling smug that I do not suffer from such
addictions. For me, sex is my cozy cosset of comfort.
As I sit in the dimness of this ‘Rotten Meat Retreat’ I am
sucking down my bottle of Mexican beer. I am observing my
comrades of the U.S. army with their female wraiths, their
familiars lounging about like the living dead. I am looking
about at some of the other patrons scattered throughout the
rooms. There is a mixed crowd of mostly Mexicans and the
smattering of us military gringos. In a booth across from me I
notice again a woman who has been lying on her side. She has
nodded off, unawares of the world around her. A female companion
of hers is sitting next to her drinking while her one hand is
working under her sleeping friend’s dress, playing with her
pussy.
The unconscious woman is wearing what appears to be a clingy
black one-piece dress of sorts. From my vantage point she also
appears to be a nicely formed woman of her thirties. There are
other people in the room; drinking and a few women had managed
to pull out the cocks of their male companions.
I see
a guy in view of everyone getting a blowjob. The woman who is
sucking his cock is moving her head up and down mechanically.
Obsessed about sex as I am, receiving head in the dim light of a
public place, even a place such as this, especially a
place such as this, is not very comforting for me.
“Your not in Kansas any more Toto”, my mind whispers.
A quote from some voice long forgotten also whispers in my mind,
“The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” I
shudder as I feel queasy distrust of the voice.
Yes, this hole-in-the-wall fringe drug den was just the place
for anyone fascinated with the darkness of the human soul and
the profane. As I am pondering my place in the scheme of things,
I am feeling pretty smug that I have avoided the pitfalls and
traps of addictions. My passions did not put me in harms way as
has the addictions of lesser people sprawled all about me.

Suddenly, the jukebox starts to play a Latin tune with a strong
driving beat. It reminds me of some of the music that Carlita
had played just five years prior. The instant the song started,
the unconscious woman pops up from her coma just like a
Jack-in-the-box. She pulls away from the woman who is still
playing with her pussy. She climbs off the bench and throws
herself into one of the most exotic and sultry dances I have
ever seen.
I feel
an immediate throbbing in my penis. I ache for her.

She moves with primal grace, her body is undulating hot and
sultry. Her body is full figure, youthful, almost perfect.
Her
face is old before her time.
It is
a hard face, a face that has once been beautiful beyond compare.
It has hard lines of pain and substance abuse etched deeply
around her mouth and forehead.
At
that instant, I imagine a bond of energy between her and I, and
then I chide myself for such imaginings.
As if on cue, she glides over to me and pulls me on to my feet.
She tugs me forward to join her in the primal dance. I feel the
call of the wild. My heart is like a jackhammer. My blood is
burning. My synapses are screaming. She spins away from me and
then glides in towards me before I can react. She puts her arms
around me, her hands are musing up the hair on the back of my
head.
Then she does exactly what Carlita had done five years before,
she insinuates her supple leg between my legs into my crotch and
grinds against my painful erection.
She starts to kiss me working her tongue in my mouth. She is
leaning back to look at me, her large dark eyes blazing with
animal ecstasy, her full lips part in a hard feral smile that
shows bad teeth. Everything about her reeks of dark sinful
pleasure, drug abuse, disease and sharp regrets.
Despite all of my instinctual warning bells clanging, my
survival centers in my brain screaming to break away and run, I
still ache for her terribly.
My
mind screams, “Get the fuck out of
here!”
Instead I stay.
I want her like a scavenger wants road-kill. I want to fuck her
like I have never fucked any other woman, and damn the
consequences!
Vaguely it is starting to sink in that I may be a sex addict and
I am foolishly enjoying my dependency.
We are dancing, but the way we are grinding against each other,
we may as well be fucking. She is unbuttoning my pants and
reaching for my swollen unit. I know she is going to peel my
pants off in front of God and everyone in the room. I am
resisting the public display of rutting. She grabs my hand and
starts running in the direction of the door. I think that she is
going to take me home with her where we can fuck in privacy.
Instead, she is running, towing me in hand down a short dark
hall, to a room with a door left open. I realize that she is a
working gal, a working gal past her prime.
There
is no negotiating of fees; it is going to be a freebie. I know
that come what may I am going to have the sexual experience of
my life.
My head is swimming. I am fighting to steady myself. I am
looking around the place. I looking down the hall of where we
had just stumbled through and I see vomit marking the hallway in
intervals. In the air, my tongue is affronted from the metallic
taste of cheap perfume, sour sweat and dry rot. The mattress in
the dingy room is patterned and colored with various stains of
urine, sweat, dried blood and no doubt the drippings and
splattering of jism from thousands of men. The stains of
blood on the bare mattress are so large, so extensive that it
looks like the Texas chainsaw massacre has just taken place
here.
This musty looking mattress from hell, looks as if it had never
been exposed to the light of day, it is a forensic nightmare.
Right
then and there, I realize once again…I am a sex junky.
I have
become just like my dad and I am dismayed.
I
realize that my perceptual grasp of reality is distorted.
I tear
myself out of her parasitic grasp and run out of the ‘Meat
Retreat’.
As I
take several steps outside the world turns grey and spins.
I am
falling to the ground and blank out before striking the
pavement.


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