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EXCERPTS FROM THE
BOOK
MOST PEOPLE TALK
BULLSHIT - One Primate's Search For Intelligent Life
Semper Fidalis = Not
Always Faithful Marines
I am
in a room. It looks like my room at Cherry Point. I see my two
roommates. They don’t take showers and they are filthy. They are
rolling out of bed and the urine soaked sheets are sticking to
them. They start spraying cologne all over themselves. They are
compulsive boozers and drug addicts. They love heroin.
These
two are only a little worse than most of my fellow barrack-rats.
Most of them were forced in because they are bad seeds in the
community. Many were facing jail time.
I am
disappointed with the Marines, but I still want to belong to
fill the emptiness within me. I want to be a lifer.
So
here I am among Marines, most of whom I can not relate to, nor
they me…and yet, I struggle hard to be one of them, to feel the
esprit de corps, to get the accolades and the extra
steaks…to be a Marine…to be a man.
Somewhere a ditty is being sung to the tune of “Oh my Darling
Clementine.”
“I’m a douche bag,
I’m a douche bag,
I’m a douche bag, for the Corp,
First they love you like a mother,
Then they fuck you like a whore.”
I’m in
a different room. It is the day room where they keep the TV.
Everyone is talking about three Marines that had gotten arrested
and thrown in the brig. The three Marines were caught tainting
the food at the chow hall
One
was caught adding his own “cool whipped-off” mixture to
the bowl of Jell-o.
Another got caught adding his special blend of “secret sauce”
to the beef stroganoff (while stroking off—I shit you not). Last
but not least, another Marine got caught pumping his own “man-chowder”
into the clam chowder that was to be served the next day.
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