EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK:

VINCE'S GYM

I Try Tree Planting With Neo

      I was dancing & bouncing on the weekends, & Skippers would only let me work two days, sometimes three days a week. A lot of the businesses would only work the majority or their employees part time because they were trying to avoid paying benefits and/or trying to keep a maximum number of people of people in the community working as possible. My financial situation required that I find more employment. Someone at the gym recommended tree planting, I think it was Rick. I figured what the hell, I like physical work & the thought of being out in the woods planting trees would be good exercise. I reasoned that I would be good at it since I planted quite a few trees in my mother’s lawn in my day. I also reasoned that my work on the farm would give me some of the skills that would serve me for the tree planting job.

      Rick & Rock told me that the tree planting services did not pay hourly wages, but instead they paid, .07 cents per tree planted. They told me that because of the economy tree planting services could afford to expect only the best & the fastest planters. Rick said, “You have to be able to plant at least 500 trees a day. He said, “Some guys can plant up to a thousand in a day.” I whistled & said, “Wow that’s between 62 to 124 trees & hour.” I said, “That’s only $35. to $70. a day, -- that’s not very good.”

      Rock said, “These are tough times & you got to do what you got to do.” They gave me the number to Shiloh Forestry tree planting service. Rick said, “We need to coach you on what to say.” “What do you mean?”, I asked 

      Rock said, ‘They get so many people these days trying to get hired that they will say they have experience when they don’t, … so the tree planting services will asked them trick questions to determine if they have real experience.

      Rick said, ‘Right, when you call them they will ask you if you plant good J-roots, - you answer no to this, J-roots are curved & they are bad.” Rock said, “Yeah, tell them that you all your roots are straight.”

      They coached me on all the things I should say or shouldn’t say. Rock looked at Neo & asked him if he to give me some coaching to get me on hire on at Shiloh where he also worked.

      Neo said, “I do not want to be a party to any sort of bull dust & deception.” I said, “Neo, I really have to find more work & I need a job.” Neo said, “I’m sorry, but lying is not the way to approach getting a job.” I started to get pissed so I said, ‘Look Neo, I have tried to get full time jobs and not many people are hiring full time, & if they are they won’t hire me.” I said, “I have even tried to get a friggin job making beds at a motel, & I offered them to try me out for a week or two free of charge if they did not find my work satisfactory.” “What would you have me do?, I asked. Neo said,“I don’t know what you can do, but lying is not one of them, it often causes a boil-o-ver.” I said, “What the hell does boil-o-ver mean?” He looked a bit peevish for using his slang & he said, boil-o-ver means an unexpected result, -- usually one that isn’t pleasant.          

      I called Shiloh as the guys in the gym were listening in. I told them that I did not plant J-roots, & that no, I did not use picks, but hoe dads & I could plant on average 500 trees a day & on good days I have planted around 1000 trees. I told them that I worked in New Hampshire & Vermont for my previous experience. The tree planting service was delighted to hear that I could plant so many trees. They told me I could start tomorrow on Friday. I was instructed that I would have to meet their companies crummy (A type of truck used by logging companies) at a certain convenience store no later than 4:00 AM.

      I thought, “Shit, I got to work tonight at Skippers & then sleep for an hour of two before I work for Shiloh.” I moaned knowing that I was going to be one tired puppy. I knew that after planting trees all day long I was going to have to work at skippers until closing. I had been up since 7:00 AM I was not looking forward to working with only one hour of sleep in a forty two hour work schedule.

      I looked over at Neo & I said, “Looks like we are going to work together tomorrow Amigo.” Neo looked at me with a dubious look on his face. He smiled & said, “We’ll see how you like it.” I worked that night at Skippers until 2:00 AM, then I napped an hour at the gym. I was at the store waiting for the Crummy when Neo showed up looking fresh as a daisy & as usual ultra alert. He said, “You’ll have a chance to sleep for the two hours it takes to get to the site.” I said, “Oh good, two hours there & two hours back, how much do they pay for the travel time?” A few of the other planters were standing around & they snickered when they heard me ask about travel time, Neo laughed outright. Neo said, “We don’t get paid for travel time, but hey you can sleep if you are able in a vehicle.”

      I said, “I can sleep anywhere, & true to my word, I slept the entire time to the coast. The site was near Reedsport, & when we reached the site, my spirit was nearly crushed. I don’t know why I had been visualizing how it would be, without ever working for a tree planting service but I had this vision of freshly plowed gently rolling hills entirely clean & free of debris. Perhaps I thought this because of working on the farm where tilling & clearing of debris was a requirement. Such was not the case here.

      Instead of gentle rolling hills, freshly plowed & clean, in its stead were small mountains with severe inclines & the fallen debris of tree trunks, roots, stumps, & underbrush. I looked at the scene while feeling the cold rain starting to pelt down on my body. I was wondering how long it would take me to walk back to Eugene with my tail between my legs. Neo was looking exuberant as he stood next to me, & he said, “Makes you wonder if the walk home would be worth the time doesn’t it?” He just laughed & clapped me on the back. I thought, ‘Shit is it that obvious or can he read my mind?’ Remembering that Vulcan mind meld had me wondering for a second, & then I dismissed the thought as a product of a sleep deprived mine.

      Neo told me what Rock & Rick had already explained, that I had to start at the top of the mountain & work down & plant the trees a certain distance from each other in a triangular pattern. I was looking at all of the garbage afoot, & I said, “What am I suppose to do if there is garbage in my way?” Neo said, “You have to do your best to chop through it the best you can.”

       Neo said, No worries mate, the boss’ cock’y will set ya straight.” I was starting to get a bad feeling about the day. I was looking around at the other planters & I noticed that almost all of them were Hispanic. I mentioned this to Neo & he said, “Most of them are illegal aliens, while others are here on work visas. They send money home & they are some of your best planters.

      I looked around at some of the other non-Hispanic planters & I said I guess those guy are in the same situation as you & me. Well not you, --you are different than everyone, for you this is a hobby.” I said my voice dripping with sarcasm. He laughed, “Just building my neurological & spiritual capacity.” He just laughed & said, “One day you may understand.” He looked at most of the other planters & said, “Most of these guys are not just experiencing tough financial times like you, most of them are people right out of prison or guy hiding from the law.” I said, “How can that be?” Neo said, “These type of jobs are the very few that these guys can work without appearing on the grid.” I was getting ready to ask him what he meant about the ‘grid’ & I was going to ask him if he was in hiding because he was choosing to hobby here, but then my fatigue prompt me to ask him when the first break would be, so that I could sleep.

      Neo laughed loudly again. The rain was pelting down hard on all of us. We all looked miserable, except for Neo who looked alien because of his eyes & because of his odd seemingly alien animal vitality. Neo said, “This is not a Union job mate, the only break ya git is when we take an hour lunch & then on the ride home. I felt like I was falling into a coma on my feet.  I thought, “Four hours until I can lay my head.”

      The Crew boss or Boss’ cock’y as Neo called him & yelled for us to muster & then the planting began. On the way down the mountain my knees really started to hurt especially the right. I thought, “The damn service injury.” It was hard work, but the hardest part was climbing over the trash to get where I needed to go. The next hardest thing was chopping through branches & crap that was perversely situated exactly where I was supposed to plant the trees. The trees that we planted were carried in special made sacks that were slung on the left & right side of our bodies. Within thirty minutes of working the crew boss came over & said in accusing & frustrated tones, ‘You have never planted trees before have you?’ I was defensive & I said, “Well I have plenty of trees for my mother at home… I ended lamely. He said, “The problem is when you plant fast enough you aren’t placing them right, when you are placing them right, you’re just too damn slow.”

      I looked at him wondering what he wanted me to do. He said, “We will have you mule for us.” He said, “A mule is a guy who brings bags of trees to the planters so that they can replenish their supply.” He said, “That will keep you busy & since you look strong you will carry two bags at a time.” He said in such a way that I knew it was not a question, I was going to have to carry two bags at once & drop them near the planters. He said, “At least you will get paid by the hour. Each bag weighed 75 pounds & being the mule kept me busy because the bags were heavy, the distance from the truck to all of the planters was great & the terrain was tough.” But after a half hour I got my second wind & my body was beginning to love the physicality of the job.

      The crew boss asked me how I was doing.” I said, “Great I could do this all day long.” The crew boss said, “Today is your last day.” I was startled & I asked him why that would be my last day. ‘He said, “We rotate the mule job everyday, & it would not be fair to the mediocre planters to allow just one person to do the job, so enjoy it while you can.” I felt defeated & pissed, life was so unfair, damn it!

      I look over at Neo & he looked like the entire job was effortless to him. Everyone else looked dirty & tired, while he looked like he was playing a stimulating game of table tennis. Some of the Hispanic guys were chatting with Neo in Spanish as they were working & he laughed & answered them back in fluent Spanish. Neo broke out into a Spanish song & the many of the Hispanic planters started to sing along with him. Even though I could not understand what they were saying, it had a feel & cadence that I remember in one of the chain gang movies, where the men sang to lessen the pain & fatigue of their labors. Even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying the melodious tones & the cadence was washing away some of my fatigue.

      Lunch came & I wolf down my food, I heard a harmonica & there was Neo playing a fine tune on it. I fell right to sleep to the sounds of the harmonica, as if I was falling into a black abyss. I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder, I looked up feeling groggy & thinking that I was in my bed back at the gym. As my head cleared I was sorry to find that I was not in the warm comfort of my room but getting pelted on heavily by a downpour that had increased since I went to sleep. Neo smiled and said, “Wakey, wakey mate, round two.” I felt deathly nauseous from my lack of sleep & from being pulled out of my heavenly one hour coma. Neo had a look of concern as he peered down at me & said, “Ya look cronk mate, are ya going to make er?” I groaned & got up & just shook my head in affirmation. He smiles his big smile & says, “Atta boy Vinny, I’m glade to see that yer game instead of a whinger like a lot of fella’ would be.” I felt pleased that he thought I was game & not a whinger, whatever the hell that was.

      I started back to being the mule, while Neo went back to singing & chanting his Spanish mantra. The entire crew seemed mesmerized under the spell of his song. The Hispanic crew chanted with him in tandem, & it was beginning to take on the flavor of the day that he worked on Gladys. I was watching Neo move effortlessly up & down the hillsides, nimbly navigating his rangy body among the debris. He seemed as if he was a machine, his body making exactly the motions it needed to raise the hoe dad poising it just high enough to bring it down with force & yet he appeared as if it was a relaxing movement for him. Watching him & comparing him to the other workers he was able to plant each tree with far less digging motions. He appeared to be poetry in motion, not a wasted movement was apparent. He was the real life manifestation of old time legends, such as Big John Henry, Paul Bunyon, Pecos Bill & Iron John. Watching him brought chills of vicarious feelings of exaltation. I could almost feel what it was like to be in his body. His face had a look of rapture & a look of down to earth attentiveness to every detail of the task before him.  Watching him gave credence that honest hard labor was a portal to the “Kingdom of Heaven’, to enlightenment, to development of our non-ordinary self.

      I must confess at one point while watching Neo, my fascination caused me to dally more than what was appropriate for a person earning wages from another. The crew boss had come up behind me & startled me with his acknowledgement of Neo’s superhuman & supernatural ability to work at what most people would consider impossible speed & precision. His comments took me unaware & I spun around quickly in a knee jerk kind of response. The crew boss said, ‘Yeah he (A name I was not familiar with) is really something. In all my years working the woods I never seen anyone who could keep up with him, or plant so many trees per day, not even close. He said, ‘It’s really freaking how he is able to move about all of the garbage, the Wapiti could not do better.”

      I said, “What in hell is a Wapiti?” “He said, “That’s the Indians call the elk, because even though elk are huge they can run fast & silently through dense brush that would seem impossible for them.

      He pointed at some of the local American Indian crew & said, “Those guys half kid around & think he is half Windigo & half human.” He said, “They are a little afraid of them but they are also superstitious.”

      I asked, “What pray tell is a Windigo?”

      The Crew boss said, “Well it is a creature that comes from Indian legend of a hideous monster.”

      I was shocked, “I said, “Why would anyone think he is monstrous?” This comment made me nervous, I wondered, “Is there something about Neo that I don’t know that may be dangerous?”

      The crew boss said, “Naw, but he does exhibit certain attributes that the Windigo is famous for & that is having supernatural strength & speed, he often appears to move faster that any human eye can follow, & at times many planters swear that he can seem to blend into the trees & winds. Hearing the crew boss made my hackles feel as though a cold breeze was blowing on them. I thought back to the few camping trips that Neo & I went on & I remembered the unexplainable perceptions that I had experience with regards to Neo. I thought, “Yes he is remarkable in the woods, but a supernatural monster?, Let’s get real.”

      The Crew boss said, “Well aside from the mumbo jumbo from the Indian crew & his ability to move on the hills, when he is on the job all of the people on the job site plant a hell of a lot more trees than they normally do.”

      I said, ‘You mean he brings out their competitive spirit?’

      The crew boss said, “No, it’s more remarkable than that, -- he seems to imparts or give off a type of energy to all the planters which causes them to go beyond what they normally are capable of on their own.”

      I wanted to tell this guy all the things I have thought, felt & experience since I met Neo, but of course I feared being certified insane, so I kept my lip buttoned.

      The Crew boss said, “It’s a shame we’ll be losing him.” “Losing him, how come did he quit?”, I asked.

      He said, “No but workers like him always do, they move one to bigger & better things”

      I was very sensitive to low wages & the bad times of the area so I said, “Maybe you could offer him more money.”

      The boss said, “I tried that, I figured that he wouldn’t have to do anything except walk around & just be himself, hell the owner’s of the company did the math & found that if he didn’t plant one tree, the amount that the other workers do when he is around would more than compensate. The boss said, “The owners even offered him a job like mine at the other sites paying him what I get paid & what he averaged as a planter without having to plant a single tree.”

      I said, “He didn’t go for it huh?” 

      The boss said, “Nope, what’s weird is when he got on he made it clear that this job was not permanent, that for him it was a stretch of vacation for him.” 

      I started laughing, “A stretch of vacation?”

      The boss said, “Yeah, well when I first heard that, I thought he was talking bullshit, you know to let us know he couldn’t be pushed around, or like he could work anywhere if he wanted.” The boss said, “A lot of guys talk that bullshit, but it’s just that, let’s face it, most people who go for this type of job have no where else to go.”  He said, “They either lack the education, or they are anti-social & are incapable of working with others, or they are too stupid, or there are legal reasons. “ The Crew boss said, “When I first met him I thought he fell into one or more of those categories. But… since I got to know him, I believe he could go anywhere & do anything.” It’s weird, to think someone would look at a job like this as a vacation.”

      One of the planters yelled out impatiently, ‘Trees, I need trees now!” Embarrassed that I had slacked in my duties, especially in front of the boss I said, “Ah, I got to go.” As I rush over to an evil looking guy who had what is called prison tats, I wondered more about Neo. I wondered, “Is Neo just some flaky eccentric trust fund baby trying to alleviate his supreme boredom by slumming it?”

      I thought that Neo’s previous explanations on his philosophy of work & spiritual development sound so extreme, that I wondered if that was just his mechanism to cope with the realistic drudgery of having to work at hard low paying jobs.” However, since I finally had the opportunity to watch him at a job site that would tax the hardiest of men & it did appear that for him it was stimulating entertainment of a high degree, & lets not forget how he handled Gladys, & how he handled himself in some of the situations I have seen him confronted with, I was not sure of my first evaluation.