My Dad Gets Divorced - A Second Time

      I called my Dad on a lark and admittedly, I wanted to see if he would mention to me that he had talked to James. I was holding on to a fantasy – that my Dad had finally figured that my Brother had proven that he was pulling his own weight in the world – that he was certain that he could give my Brother help without fear of spoiling him. I was imagining that my Father would realize that all three of his kids have gone through life on their own and we were worthy of parental mentoring and resources. We reasoned – if a parent doesn’t believe that their job is to help their children to be better off financially, emotionally, mentally and so forth – what was the point in them having offspring?

      I mentioned to him that James was working hard but struggling to establish himself in his community because of the lack of funds to purchase a license and bond for his business.

I hoped that my Dad would take the hint and tell me that he had talked to James and that he had in fact lent him the needed funds.

      Instead of any such admissions from my Father, he brought me up to date that he and my Stepmother had gotten a divorce. Evidently, the million plus dollars that he had in the bank was now divided in half; and he had to pay her half of the equity of the house.

      He was quick to let me know that he had not let any moss grow on him with regards to his love life. According to him, he was dating a lot of young women. He claimed that he refused to date woman over forty and they had to be in his words ‘hard-bodies’. No hags for him he asserted.

      Luckily he still had his career and could expect to continue making a couple hundred thousand a year for at least another five years till regular retirement age. He said that he wanted to put another million in the bank before he retired. According to him, Heloise only took a little over half his assets, although he got to keep the house of which was likely to grow in value.

      He reasoned that even if he put only half of his take home pay into the bank that paid simple interest, he should have over a million and thereby still give him enough cash to pay his bills and party like a rock star.

      He reasoned that if the funds that he should be making as a silent partner of a strip club and rents from a few roommates and interest on money that he still had in the bank and the future income in addition to social security and his union pension he estimated that he should be pulling in a yearly income of $150,000.00 without ever touching the principle. Not bad for a retirement plan – and a full medical with dental plan to boot.

      I mentioned that his plan left him with ample funds to loan James ten grand to get situated in business. As I expected, my father started back peddling and told me that he still had too many bills he had to honor, such as fixing up the house, his Cadillac and of course he let me know that all of the young women he had been fucking cost a lot to wine and dine them. “You know how it is Laz, women are just a hole where you throw away your money.”

      He was hoping to curb his playboy expenditures after he and his new love interest settled into general monogamy. He met her at the strip club he financed while she was stripping.

      He voice was filled with pride as he described her as a nineteen year-old hard body and she just loved the way he fucked her. According to him, the women in his locale nicknamed him Captain Hook, because of his unusual endowment. Also according to him, he could out fuck any of the men half his age, which no doubt made him a hot commodity – that and his willingness to compulsively pick up the tab.

      I was appalled by the fact that not only did he put her welfare and his need for sex above his own son’s and future grandchild’s real needs; I was also amazed that he was actually capable of believing that well adjusted nineteen year-old girls just pine away their entire lives dreaming of the day that they will meet a crusty guy the age of their grandfather to sweep them off their feet and ride off into the sunset with them.

      A whirl of thoughts and questions flooded my minded.

      “For the love of God, engaged to a stripper!

      “What’s he thinking, I wondered?”

      “Didn’t he know that most strippers were not well adjusted, usually had bad drug habits and were infected with love and hate issues with men?”

      “Didn’t he know that the likelihood that a nineteen year old stripper that was actually well adjusted and really in love with his inner man was as likely as Hugh Hefner devoting himself to monogamy?

      “Sure, have sex with her, but don’ give away the farm for God’s sake.”

      “Shit doesn’t he know that women like that can be bought with promises of a free room and a occasional sandwich along with beer or pot of course!”

      In my mind I could see that my Dad was probably a sucker for flattery… after all, hadn’t his Captain and navigator for his first ship flattered him – and hadn’t they proved to be right concerning my Father’s array of skills.

      I could see the first night that he talked his future fiance’ into coming home with him.

      No doubt being a big shot Captain in the Merchant Marines and part owner of the very club that paid her wages and pandered to her questionable sense of self worth helped him considerably with his bid to get laid.

      In my mind I could hear what she said to him after he gave her a good railing with his cherished member the first night at his lavish home.

      I could see that his future wife looked at my Father with new respect and said, “What you have done is quite remarkable!”

      Incredulous, my father said, “It is?”

      “A man your age with your stamina and skill is quite rare!”

      “Is it?”

      Yes, she purred, you have a much bigger dick than average and great sexual intelligence!”

      Still incredulous, my father said, “I do?”

      The Rubenesque stripper with mercenary interest in her new sugar daddy said, “You ought to give serious consideration to proposing to me and enter into a state of matrimony.”

      Basking in the warmth of a Femme’ fatale attention for perhaps the first time in the years of his previous marriages my Dad said, “I should?”

      And so my Father became formally engaged to a girl young enough to be his granddaughter.