My Godfather

      From as early as I can remember, I would on occasion see my Godfather, but mostly it was before my parents divorced. My Godfather and Father met each other when they were twelve; they were playing their version of the rough and tumble sandlot baseball. Both of them were passionate about all sports, especially baseball and football. Although my father preferred football, my Godfather was more of a fanatic about baseball.

      They forged a friendship and were pretty much inseparateble from that age and on through their early adult years – at least during their free time. Shortly after my birth, my Father bequeathed his friend with the dubious honor of becoming my Godfather and my Godfather accepted.

      The Sicilians in the days of old started this tradition, because they felt that life was so tough that young men needed two fathers if they were to have the best chance of making it in the world.

      It is said that the Sicilians from the old country of Sicily – put a lot value on honor and their spoken word. It is said that these people and this attitude towards honor and solidarity was due to the oppressive governance from Rome and the poverty and the injustices that they endured at the hands of corrupt officials.

      This was why insofar as the Sicilians were concerned, the honor and responsibility that being a Godfather entailed was not asked of another man lightly, nor was it accepted lightly. The responsibility of being a Godfather often entailed taking over parenting of the Godchild in the possible event of death or disability of the father or even both parents. Godfathers were also supposed to be an additional resource of wisdom and influence.

     Godfathers helped to open the doors of commerce and political or social networking and influence.

      Obviously, some Godfathers possessed more wealth, influence, compassion and wisdom than other men who took on the this huge task of another man or woman’s child. Regardless of various resources, it was understood that Godfathers took on the obligation to do best that they could within their financial, emotional, intellectual, political and social limitations. Some men after all, are more limited than others.

      I was sensitive to all of this and when one of my very best friends Phoenix asked me to be the Godfather of his firstborn – Thomas. I was terrified.

      Frightened of the prospect of taking on such an honor that initially I refused.

      Phoenix knows me better than almost any man with the possible exception of my friend Neo, which is why he asked me to be his son’s Godfather. He knew that I do not like to give my word lightly. I do not make promises and accept responsibility carelessly.

      Still, he demanded to know why I was so reticent about becoming a Godfather to his firstborn.

      We had a long discussion on the matter and essentially it came down to the fact that I doubted my ability to reach the level competence in the world that I had wanted achieve.

      Although, due to many of life’s circumstances I have not been close to my Godfather as I have often wished otherwise. I did in fact wanted to become as much like him as I could; at least the aspects of his personality and his achievements that I have been able to glean from sparse interactions with him and from second hand stories, from friends and relatives, and also from numerous articles that I have read about him from various news-rags and internet info.

      Yes, my Uncle had reached a level of power and influence that anyone could hope to expect from an archetypal Godfather. He reached a level I have all my live had hoped to attain and failed.

      I was disappointed over my failure to attain the competence and influence that my Godfather had mastered.

      From the earliest years, since my parents divorce, in a void of fraternal influence, I had always fantasized that my Godfather would want to take me under his wing and impart to me special knowledge of the world, just as Vito Corleone had done with his youngest son Michael. I wanted all of this, but the problem was, what could I possibly offer my Godfather in return, what could I offer anyone, much less a Godson?

      I had always been afraid to approach my Godfather for advice. There was always the dread that he would turn me away. I feared that he would wonder if I was trying to finagle a handout, but worse was my fear that he would realize that my desire for mentoring was sincere and still he would not give a whit about my acquiring competence in the world. This burden weighed heavily on me over the years and Phoenix was well aware of my angst.

      Phoenix said, “Even though your Godfather is one of the wealthiest and most influential men in Pennsylvania, you would never go to him to ask him for money or any handout, would you?”

“Of course not! No doubt he has all sorts of people always hitting him up for money. I bet my own Father has tried to take advantage of their friendship, I said.”

      Phoenix pushed forward, “I’m sure that by now, especially since you have reached the age of thirty-one, your Godfather is fairly certain that you are not hovering in the wings to hit him up for money.”

      “Well considering that I have not even called him to ask for advice or even interact with him outside of family gatherings, I’d say that it is unlikely he even considers this.”

      Phoenix laughs, “Since your Godfather knows you are not one to ask for money, I’m sure he would not mind if you called him to ask for advice or to ask him for his influence to get you considered for a job you are well qualified for?”

      I was silent as I shrugged my uncertainty.

      “Well, you mean to tell me that your own Godfather would not even take the time to give you advice in many areas he is an expert in?”

I shrug once again.

      “Come on Vinny… honestly, why would he not give simple advice? It wouldn’t cost him a thing, aside from a bit of time and concern.”

      “Why should he? My own Father or Stepfather wouldn’t give me simple advice regardless how often I asked, no matter how bad life was going for me.”

      “Vinny, I’m sorry that your Father and Jake are selfish assholes with petty axes to grind. It is obvious that your for some reason your Stepfather is threatened by you and would rather see you fail than succeed. As for your Father… he still stuck with punishing your mother by withholding help and advice. Sadly, he also would rather you fail in life. However, from what you told me, your Godfather is a successful and well-developed person in every area of life. Is that correct?”

      “Yes, I admitted, that’s what I have heard.”

      “A man of his stature and accomplishments is not likely to be insecure or petty or selfish to people he has made commitments to. Would you agree?

      “I suppose, I said to myself unconvinced.”

      “You also said that he has four sons on which he lavishes much love, mentoring and support.”

      “Yes, but those are his kids. I am not his flesh and blood.”

      “You’re looking at it all wrong. I am not your flesh and blood, and yet, you have often taken the time to give me advice or to help me in many areas.”

      “Well, you’re my friend and most of what I do is not that much effort or cost.’

      “Now wait one second mister, Phoenix leans in passionately, there has been more than one occasion that you have changed your schedule to help people. I cannot count the times you have gone without sleep to help a coworker move or to accommodate someone else’s schedule to train them.”

      “It is only what anyone would do for a person they liked and wanted to see improve.”

      “You have shown yourself to be concerned and caring for you coworkers and friends; willing to give any advice. Certainly you would do the same for Thomas as his Godfather, would you not?

      “Of course I would.”

      “If anything were to happen to me, and my kids needed a roof over their head, you’d at least let them stretch out in the living room, right?”

      “Yes.”

      “When he comes of age, if he needed a good word or recommendation for a job you’d go to bat for him, wouldn’t you?”

      “Yes, yes, or course I would.”

      “Who knows, but if the day ever came that he needed your advice, you know, if there was something he could not come to me about, you could be there to guide him or perhaps just be a sounding board.”

      “Well there you go then. You can be around to give him advice based on your life experience; just as you had always hoped that your relatives and Godfather would have done for you.”

      “I was still silent, not quite convinced.”

      “Vinny, how many times have you told me that your life would have been made much easier if only your Godfather and other male relatives took the time to give you their knowledge or to give you advice on any questions you may have?”

      “Sadly, more times than I can count.”

      “That’s all I’m asking you to do for Thomas. He would have at least the benefit of your knowledge; the benefit of all your successes and the warnings of all your failures.”

      “Of course anything else in your power to provide for him, I am confident that you would. It’s just in your nature to do as much for people you care for.”

      “What do you say Vinny?

      “And it was thus that I became Thomas’ Godfather.”

      Whether my Godfather took the time-honored responsibility as seriously as the Sicilians of old or half as earnest as me, I may never know, though I doubt it.

      After all, how many humans actually take seriously, any promise they make?

      I remember as a kid, long before my parents divorced, that my Godfather was quite the energetic budding entrepreneur. Even as a young adult, he live at home with his parents. He worked two full-time jobs. One pay check he handed over to his parents, the other paycheck he used to invest in buying broken down vehicles. These he fixed up and sold for a tidy profit. Family legend has it that my Godfather made a vow to his friends. His vow was that he would not marry and have kids before he turned thirty or made his first million.

      Prior to reaching his age of eligibility, it is said that he and my father pursued the female population of the Greater Norristown area and outlining burgs with inexhaustible vigor. My Father, not one to allow the sanctity of marriage to get in the way of his carnal pleasures – happily romped around with my Godfather who was not encumbered by marital vows.

      According to my Father and Mother, he made his first million well before he was thirty. It is said that my Father loaned my Godfather enough money to open-up his first used car lot, thereby helping my Godfather to attain his goal of wealth before leaving his twenties. Much to the pleasure of many single women in my family’s circle of influence, my Godfather was free to marry and have children. I remember from many snippets of conversations that my Mother and her friends thought that My Godfather was handsome and possessed an easy charm and everyone knew that he was a man that made things happen, he was destined to go places.

      After my divorced and after we moved back from North Carolina, my Father took us to visit my Godfather at his new car dealership. We were led to his office and much to my surprise and with more than a little bit of pleasure I saw that he kept a few pictures of my siblings and I hanging on the wall behind his immense desk.