The Cold War Has Us Bending Over and Kissing Our Asses Goodbye

      Even at God’s school we were all aware of new medical treatments and the cold war between our great country and the Russians. We were intrigued by the sugar cubes that were suppose to be booster treatments for our polio vaccines. Back then, parents wanted their children to become president, but not to become afflicted like President Roosevelt.

      The frightening moments when the air-alarms would sound off and we had to practice the drill of quickly ducking under our little wooden desks… to protect ourselves in the event of bombs being fired on us by the Ruskies. We had to maintain a tucked under and curled position until the sirens would quiet and the nuns instructed us to resume our studies.

      The nuns were not much help with resolving or allaying our fears of death by nuclear attacks. To the contrary, they seemed to enjoy regaling us with tales of Gods wrath. They never let us forget that God, our father in heaven that loves us… drowned most of his children during the great flood like a pack of bothersome rats; because he was pissed off that we were problem children.

      Out of his compassion and perhaps more than a little guilt for going overboard with his discipline of tough love, God promised that he would never use water to destroy us again.

Instead, he promised that the next time we became a problem - he would destroy us by fire.

Talk about an abusive father!

Seriously!

      The nuns loved to tell us that God would allow us to destroy ourselves by nuclear fire. They told us all of these wonderful facts as we were instructed to jump under our desks and curl – because as you well know, nothing is better protection against the likelihood of nuclear fire and brimstone and radiation is raining upon our sorry human souls as a wooden grade school desk.

      From our studies we knew that humans have always felt that the end-of-days was always just around the corner. The Universe is a dangerous place with misguided killer asteroids, tsunami’s, volcanoes, famine, and plagues, et cetera. This is why God’s children were trying their best to grovel and pray for salvation in their day-today lives and in the after life.

      Needless to say, The Book of Revelations talks of such grim predictions and even hints that in the first time in history we now had the capacity to destroy ourselves in the blink of an eye. When we voiced our concerns over such matters or expressed our uncertainty over the incongruent behavior of God; the nuns would smile sagely and say, “No one knows the mind of God, and it is through Jesus’ love that will be our salvation.